Meadowhall’s overtaking lane revealed to be a sham

Several newspapers have reported that Sheffield’s number one shopping destination, Meadowhall, has become the first in Britain to introduce a new lane system following a ten year old’s letter complaining about “slow shoppers”.

Often dubbed “Meadowhell” by locals, the shopping centre seeks to make your experience of shopping a little less hellish and was reportedly trialling an “overtaking lane” for shoppers too busy to be stuck behind the elderly, disabled or child-bearing/dragging citizens among us.

However, when the Tab went to investigate, we found that no such lanes actually existed; the walkways were as congested as ever, with sluggish shoppers infuriating harried customers eager to be on their way.

“Move, bitch, get out the way…”

Confused, we tackled customer services, who explained the rumours of a lane system “were for the publicity” and it was unlikely such plans would go ahead any time soon.

Marketing refused to talk to us directly, suggesting that, for the time being, this brilliant idea has been shelved.

Ready to take on the fast lane.

The ploy has clearly achieved its goal, sparking further rumours that this phenomenon will soon be taken global; 70% of Mirror readers claimed they wanted a lane system to be adopted in other shopping locations around the UK. However, the idea has also caused controversy, some claiming that a “slow lane” discriminates against disabled customers.

Meadowhall features as one of Britain’s biggest and most popular and busy shopping centres, attracting hundreds of thousands of customers every year.

If you’re heading down to the student lock-in this Thursday, be prepared to be caught up in a human tidal wave of hurrying students fighting their way to Topshop for 20% off; there will be no lane system separating the weak from the strong.

Good Luck.