Students: don’t get 2:2 bogged down in uni work

Deadlines, dissertations and disappointment (for a lot of us at least)… What’s the point of getting a decent degree classification anyway? If you’re wondering what a degree classification is, this article is definitely for you.

We’re all told we should strive to achieve the best grade we possibly can. But so many of us are bored of churning out what employers deem acceptable grades. Should we make a stand against the infamous saying ‘there’s no point in paying for an education if you’re not going to get at least a 2:1’?

We’ve all got that one coursemate (or if you’re really unlucky, they’re your housemate too) who insists on making us feel constantly guilty, the one who spends every waking hour studying. If that person’s you: please, for the greater good of us all, seriously stop. Just go and do something that’s normal, please.

Is this you on the floor covered in your own sick? You’re hired!

How many times have we all told ourselves “this semester I’m really going to knuckle down, I’m going to change” and we end up in the same sorry state we were in last semester?

Forget those mid-term woes. Stop wondering whether you’ll ever make it above average and start being below average. Now isn’t that alternative? We know how much us students hate mainstream. After all, how else are we going to really stand out to employers if we haven’t ridden on the back of an elephant or got a profile picture with African children in?

If you’re the slob that’s spent your university career doing absolutely fuck all, I have some incredibly reassuring news… Employers are actually saying they’re looking for graduates with 2:2s.

I know what you’re thinking… What’s the evidence for this absurdly optimistic bullshit? Well, their reasoning is that the graduates who haven’t spent three years buried in books, slowly scratching away the surface of their uCards, have actually gained some life experience.

If a night out at Corp doesn’t show life experience, in the form of ability to tackle copious quadvods, then I honestly don’t know what does.

Talk about CORPorate social responsibility

Apparently employers don’t want to see how many boring A levels you’ve got, they’re more interested in how many nights out you can handle in a week, how many lectures you can miss, and subsequently how badly you can do at university; whilst still scraping a pass.

One boss explains: “I have asked around, and nobody has any evidence to suggest that, for any given university, recruits with first-class degrees turn into better employees than those with thirds”

So you’ve heard it here first – put those books down and start living, it’ll pay off!

Even look at Sheffield’s success story – Jess Ennis (let’s forget her incredibly promising athletics career she had as a back-up) graduated from our very own university in 2007 with a 2:2 – she’s not done too badly for herself, what with a golden post box to boast about.

Success doesn’t always come in the form of a Geoff Hurst.

Here at the tab, we aren’t condoning a lazy, work-free life… Actually we are; so go out, get absolutely wrecked… and don’t forget to put it on your CV.