Tab backs Dumbledore for Chancellor

Not that he’s running or anything.


Nominations are now open for Uni of Sheffield’s new Chancellor, and the Tab believes there is only one man for the job; Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Dumbledor-able.

Winner of the Order of Merlin, First Class, Dumbledore is one of the most inspiring individuals to students all over the world. Lads want to be him, ladies want to frolic in his beard like a keratin waterfall. And some of the boys wouldn’t mind doing that either.

With a wealth of experience from running a world class boarding school for witchcraft and wizardry, Dumbledore is also incredibly old, which appears to be the main prerequisite for being a chancellor.

Dumbledore is often quite at odds with the Ministry of Magic, giving him the skills he needs to negotiate his way out of the lecturers’ strike and, being the benevolent type, he’s much more likely to give us our money back than the current management.

Dumbledore’s office is also, objectively speaking, mega cool. Just imagine what he could do with Firth Court.

Dumbledore is well known for being a pensive character.

Finally, being dead, Dumbledore has all the free time he needs to dedicate to the running of our uni. It’s the perfect situation.

Students can nominate Dumbledore for the role of chancellor here: https://www.sheffield.ac.uk/about/chancellor