Calling all student officers: Ban flyering from university areas.

Ever wondered why flyering is called flyering? Because those who partake in the activity have a close resemblance to a fly; they are irritating, persistent and need to buzz off. Personally speaking.

My definition of the occupation is that it is a mundane, boring and degrading way of earning easy money. Not quite how the Oxford English Dictionary defines it, but I think it sums it up nicely.

It has become so popular that it is now seen as an employment position, and is continuously being taken up by debt-ridden students whose loan doesn’t even cover the cost of their accommodation let alone a weekly round of jaeger bombs.

Its phenomenal that an hourly rate of little more than £4 to stand in the freezing cold and rain, and push flyers into the hands of uninterested passers-by still exists. The chances are, the remote few who do accept the flyer will either, a) drop it on the floor, or b) shove into their pocket, and never look at it again until they need it for a piece of gum they no longer want.

Just fly(er)ing past…

Surely there is nothing more humiliating than watching every single person who comes within a 5 metre radius purposefully trying to avoid eye contact. Or rapidly pulling their phone out and suddenly looking engrossed at what is on the screen.

I could probably just about condone the whole process if it were in a climate at least 20 degrees hotter than Sheffield. Along with guaranteed sunshine and a daily view of the beach.

You would think that these businesses and clubs, with their Sambuca sodden floors, would embrace resources such as social media and the Internet. An extremely effective way of advertising and it’s free.

RIP small forest

One ex-flyerer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said: “I used to just throw a big chunk of the flyers I had to hand out into the bin at the end of the shift because I was paid on the basis of how many flyers I gave out.” Not exactly rocket science one might say.

So, for all you business owners out there, step away from that printer. Get with the 21^st century and use the internet. Flyering is ripping you off in more ways than one; the companies producing your flyers and those you employ to distribute them, especially if you are lucky enough to employ someone with the mind-set of our anonymous source.