Preston, and why it’s incredible

Firstly, although all the cool kids call it Ptown, Preston is in fact a city. It was named England’s 50th city in the Queen’s 50th year of reigning. If that doesn’t say we’re important then I don’t know what does. Here’s why there’s really nowhere better to live.

There are certainly worse nightclub settings

We basically shaped Britain

You really do have so much to be thankful to Preston for, we gave so much to the country. Firstly we gave you motorways. The Preston Bypass, now part of the M6, was the first section of motorway to be built in Britain. While we’re on the super exciting topic of roads, the first concrete road was also in Preston. You’re so very welcome.

The Colonel clearly knew what was good for him, as the first KFC in the UK was on the high street of Preston. Preston, helping you fulfil all your chicken needs from day one.

We also gave you one of the ugliest cars known to man. The Bond Bug. Bright orange, three-wheeled and produced in Preston. We know style for sure.

All great things to come out of Preston, I’m sure you’ll agree.

The bus station is famously hideous

If you’ve ever met anyone from Preston, you can be sure they’ll have mentioned the Bus Station to you. We’re all just so proud of the hideous building. We take pride in knowing that it’s the second largest bus station in Europe. (Not sure how accurate that fact is anymore). It’s now a Grade II listed building, has its own Wikipedia page and CBBC even did a song about it. You can see why we’re so honoured to have such a building I’m sure.

People kicked right off at the idea of knocking it down

MACS is the finest club to sneak into underage

The nightlife in Preston isn’t actually so terrible. There’s certainly plenty of options for drinking, as any northern city should have and because there’s good old UCLAN, we get the student night prices. We all had our first nights out underage at MACS with its sweaty walls, tiny dance floors and creeping lads. Just what every night out should include.

Then we have the infamous Warehouse. Three floors of  different music genres, each with playlists that have basically been the same for God knows how long. Without fail you will hear Arctic Monkeys, the Black Keys and at some point in the night The White Stripes Seven Nation Army will be played. For £2.50 doubles, it’s clear why it’s on the list of what makes Preston great. Yes, the vodka is quite nasty, but cheap drinks are always going to win over taste. On the subject of cheap drinks, Pound Pints. You don’t get that down south.

The dirty doubles of a Warehouse Tuesday.

Bounce by the Ounce

I couldn’t possibly mention Preston’s nightlife without mentioning Bounce by the Ounce. We all saw the video, we all witnessed how incredible it made Preston’s nightlife seem. No one will ever have a better night than “that guy” was having, but if you’re in Preston, you can give it a good go.

All the greats are from here

Preston is basically a breeding ground for greatness. Probably the most famous Prestonian has to be Toxic Terry. The recently reformed homeless man who is famous for sniffing glue and drinking petrol. Then there’s some of those other people you might have heard of like cricketer Freddie Flintoff, Nick Park, creator of everyone’s favourite Claymation characters Wallace and Gromit and Leo Baxendale, creator of Beano characters Mini the Minx and The Bashstreet Kids.

Your childhood breakfast time reading wouldn’t have been the same if it wasn’t for Ptown. We also gave you John Inman from Are You Being Served and finally, of R2D2 fame, Kenny Baker. It’s basically thanks to Preston that Star Wars is the success it is today.

Cloudy and grey but still pretty

Preston is my Paris

Clarks decided to do a TV advert in Preston, making it look all pretty and French-like. With the flag market and the high street being recently cleaned up, the city centre does actually look pretty nice these days. At the right time of day, Avenham Park can also be quite picturesque. Clarks are never wrong.

J’adore Preston.

The Preston Guild

Every 20 years, Preston comes together and celebrates the Preston Guild, the only Guild to still be celebrated. This making us so unique it almost hurts.

Nobody knows where Preston is though

Overall, I think we can all agree Preston is pretty much the best place to live. We have all you could ever want or need. Still though if anyone ever asks where we’re from, the answer will be “Preston, in Lancashire, it’s near Manchester” because people have rarely heard of us. I mean, we’re actually closer to Blackpool but no one would willingly admit they’re from near Blackpool.