How to smoke around campus without being judged

Saving you from tutting and head-shaking on your cigarette break

Finally, we no longer need to get fake IDs, ask strangers to buy them for us or pretend to act older to buy cigarettes. Yet despite being responsible adults, smokers still have to deal with a lot of judgement from pious non-smokers.

Any of us can breeze up to the counter and order a pack  of cigarettes.

Unless of course you forget your ID and are refused, despite the fact that you are buying them from the campus shop and are clearly a student, student card/clothes/look-of-despair-and-exhaustion and all.

However, some of us still have friends, family or partners who dislike us smoking. No matter how many times they nag you to stop and no matter how many times you try to and fail, they just won’t let up when you light-up.

IMG_0108So what is the best way around this dilemma? Quitting?

Nah… just get a bit more sneaky.


Don’t stand outside your halls and happily spark up where everyone can see you.

Think about who it is you don’t want catching you and accordingly plan when and where you can smoke without them seeing you.

What time do they have lectures and what times don’t they? You don’t need to become a stalker but there are always times of day and place you know that person will not be around.

The best places for a sneaky cigarette on campus

The steps by the West side of Founders


 Quiet, discreet and with a pretty building in the background. Perfect.

Further into the field beyond the steps

IMG_0110 Green, picturesque and surrounded by nature. Just what you need for a serene smoke.

The steps by the tennis courts at the front of campus


 Somewhere to sit and watch the world go by while enjoying your vice.

How to hide the tell-tale smoking signs



Always carry a little bottle of your favourite perfume or deodorant with you. Smoking smells. Everyone knows that distinctive smell.

Perfume helps hide this, but remember the three key places to spray where your body attract the most smells: your wrists, chest and hair.

Hair is a big one, so much of this smell gets caught up in the little strands, no matter how much or little you have. So just give these places a little squirt.

Do not use too much, only the amount you would normally use, otherwise this becomes suspicious.


Hand sanitizer 

Always carry a little bottle of this too. Hands have the strongest smell of smoke on them. Although you have just used perfume on your wrists it cannot cover up the smell on your hands.

Also, cover up is not what you want on this part of your body – you want is to get rid of it completely. The alcoholic type is preferable and you can pick them up for a reasonably low price in most shops in Egham.

These remove all smells of smoke from your hands. It is amazing. This smell was once of the bane of my live, but not anymore.

Watch your breath

Gum or minty breath spray cures smoky breath.

Definitely still brush your teeth at the first possible chance you get. But gum shall give you the time to nip through the house and say hello to people without seeming like a complete antisocial weirdo.


Above all, allow yourself enough time on your cigarette break to do all this. If it saves you some tutting and head shaking from judgemental housemates and friends then it’s worth it.