Tab v Food: I tried the Eggham breakfast challenge
It has a very punny name
Fans of fried breakfast must like Eggham on Toast. Their Eggham breakfast challenge gives breakfast-goers the chance to wolf down two eggs, two rashers of bacon, two sausages, black pudding, chips, tinned tomatoes, beans, mushroom, bubble and squeak plus some toast or fried bread.
I have to admit: when I read the menu, I was slightly disappointed with what was classed as a challenge here. Two of everything, to me, is just a normal-sized Full English. This did give me hope though that I’d be able to finish it without throwing it all back up.
The actual challenge for me was the fact I don’t actually like egg or mushroom. I’m not a particular fan of chips either. Mashing them up and disguising them in my mouth with tomato seemed like my best option. This was all well and good until I started to get full and then the slightest taste and feel of wobbly egg white or slimy mushrooms was enough to make me heave a little. Also, there was a solid egg yolk. Who does that?
The main error I made was choosing fried bread rather than toast and leaving it until last. By this time with every chew I could feel the cold grease seeping out of it. Not ideal when you already feel a little sick from the apparently-impossible-to-fully-hide taste of egg.
Although it wasn’t as much food as I expected for a challenge, I’m not going to pretend I found it easy to finish. By the end, I felt like a bin bag about to split open and spill out mashed-up food everywhere. Standing up and walking out of the café was not an easy task. The food baby was real.
I think I’ll be eating fruit and veg for a considerable amount of time to counter-balance the heart attack I may have provoked with this meal.
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