Tab v Food: I tried the Eggham breakfast challenge

It has a very punny name


Fans of fried breakfast must like Eggham on Toast. Their Eggham breakfast challenge gives breakfast-goers the chance to wolf down two eggs, two rashers of bacon, two sausages, black pudding, chips, tinned tomatoes, beans, mushroom, bubble and squeak plus some toast or fried bread.

I have to admit: when I read the menu, I was slightly disappointed with what was classed as a challenge here. Two of everything, to me, is just a normal-sized Full English. This did give me hope though that I’d be able to finish it without throwing it all back up.

cafe

Game face on

The actual challenge for me was the fact I don’t actually like egg or mushroom. I’m not a particular fan of chips either. Mashing them up and disguising them in my mouth with tomato seemed like my best option. This was all well and good until I started to get full and then the slightest taste and feel of wobbly egg white or slimy mushrooms was enough to make me heave a little. Also, there was a solid egg yolk. Who does that?

Worlds most manageable sized challenge.

Doesn’t look like much does it

d

Nearly there

The main error I made was choosing fried bread rather than toast and leaving it until last. By this time with every chew I could feel the cold grease seeping out of it. Not ideal when you already feel a little sick from the apparently-impossible-to-fully-hide taste of egg.

Although it wasn’t as much food as I expected for a challenge, I’m not going to pretend I found it easy to finish. By the end, I felt like a bin bag about to split open and spill out mashed-up food everywhere. Standing up and walking out of the café was not an easy task. The food baby was real.

food. done.

Done

I think I’ll be eating fruit and veg for a considerable amount of time to counter-balance the heart attack I may have provoked with this meal.

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