I was chirpsed by Big Narstie

As many Holloway students will remember, Big Narstie made an appearance at Medicine recently. That night, I was heading home from the emotional farewell to Liquid when a black 4×4 slowed down next to me and my friends. As the tinted window wound down like a scene out of an action movie, Big Narstie was revealed in all of his glory.

Well heyyy there Narstie

Chains hanging low, fingers decked out in the finest diamonds and a spliff between his fingers, all I could think was: why the fuck had he parked next to us?

As our drunk conversation with him flowed it seemed he was a pretty decent guy, asking us how far our flat was, and if we would get home okay. Even after bluntly telling him we hadn’t been to his gig, he continued talking to us about our night.

Then came the question: “Do you girls want to come back with us?”

A rapper had just asked us to come back to his “crib”. With my feet barely managing to keep me upright, we turned him down – but not before his producer got my number, and I cheekily asked for a free bottle of Ciroc next time I saw him.

Roughly 10 minutes later, a swarm of drunk Narstie fans on their way home from a night of “bass” saw him and started asking for pictures and autographs.

Our conversation ended there and he fled from the scene, leaving behind the pungent smell of hash. The following afternoon when I was hungover and feeling sorry for myself, I received a text from his producer asking if I was still up for the gig in Reading, as if I wasn’t just another forgettable girl from the night before.

Perfect hangover cure

Unfortunately, I couldn’t attend (cry) and thus ended my brief friendship, or whatever you can call it, with Big Narstie and his producer. I wonder if any of his other fans took him up on the offer.