If RoHo was a person in your friendship group

Let’s face it, you wouldn’t always invite them out


The one who is always left out

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Guys, what’s so funny?

Let’s be honest, Royal Holloway’s a reject. If the University of London was a clique, RoHo would be Gretchen Wieners, desperately trying to keep up.

“I know I’m not really in London, but I’m just like a London uni, honest! I’m close enough, right?” Give up, RoHo. You’re not in London. Now go and sit at another table in the cafeteria.

The one who knows it’s hot

 

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Vain much?

If this uni’s got one thing going for it, it’s that immediate first impression. You walk in, and wow: that’s a pretty face.

But RoHo knows it. Every Open Day, the Twitter page will read something like “Don’t forget to get a photo with our beautiful Founder’s building!” Alright, Holloway. We know you’re hot. And it looks like you know it too.

The kind of boring one

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Sorry guys won’t be coming to pres, got some Nietzsche to catch up on

If this was a friendship group, one of the real London unis would end up hosting the parties. I mean, what would you rather have: a night out in central London where you can hit up a variety of places, or hours spent trying to avoid sticky patches in what is effectively a school hall?

Oh, and there’s nowhere to get food past midnight except pricey Domino’s. Nice try Holloway, but we think we’ll go to UCL’s party instead.

The one who is in lots of groups

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Admired by everyone, but never truly at home anywhere

It’s technically in Surrey’s clique, but it drifts towards Berkshire, Hampshire and has a Twickenham postcode, so it’s kind of near Greater London.

RoHo’s the friend who leaves you unsure as to where your allegiance lies. They sit with you at lunch, but you don’t know where they spend their weeknights.

The one with expensive taste

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Wait ’til you see the car she drives

RoHo’s the kind of person who would drop a £50 note on the floor and not really bat an eyelid. And it would expect you to have lots of money, too. Like £1,700 or so. For a tap which spews yellow water.

The feminist

Despite its flaws, Royal Holloway would be the kick-ass feminist of the group, and we all know it. With its roots in women’s history and sporting the suffragette colours with pride, RoHo woke up like dis, and is still flawless.

The one who is slightly obsessed with their family history

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‘My ancestors are, like, so cute’

RoHo would be the person telling everyone their great grandfather was Thomas Holloway. “And Queen Victoria was, like, THERE at my birth”. Yeah, we know, its right there in the middle of your Instagram bio, quit telling us.

The one who always gives it their all

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They’ll hug you no matter what

Although it may seem like RoHo is the really annoying member of the group you’re trying to shake off, you have to admire its spirit. It tries hard. It knows it isn’t in the best situation socially, but it damn well gives it a go. It’ll try and plan fun nights, get Starbucks more often, or completely re-decorate it’s basement with hanging chairs and funky sofas. It’s slightly tragic, but we love it anyway. It includes everyone. And that’s what really matters.