Cheeky Girls are coming to Royal Holloway

Touch my bum, this is life

After an impressive line up of Katy B and Duke Dumont for the Summer Ball, expectations were raised for Freshers’ Week. To everyone’s horror, the SU haven’t lived up to them.

The biggest name on the bill so far? The Cheeky Girls.

Feeling cheeky?

Feeling cheeky?

This year, the Students’ Union have booked some truly nothing acts for Freshers Week including DJ Friction, Ace from Radio 1Xtra (who?) and impressionist Danny Posthill from Britain’s Got Talent.

Friction is “regarded as one of the biggest DJs in the drum and bass scene” according to Wikipedia, yet his most well-known song is his 2011 remix of Example’s hit single ‘Changed the Way You Kiss Me’. Friction is now a DJ on BBC Radio 1 on Sundays at 3am, which says a lot.

Fans of early noughties cheese and Lembit Opik will be thrilled to see Cheeky Girls will be making an appearance at Royal Holloway. Back in 2002, their debut single “Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)” spent four weeks at number two in the charts but was later voted the worst pop record of all time in a Channel 4 poll.

Last year's freshers enjoy indulging their inner James Bond

Last year’s freshers enjoy indulging their inner James Bond


In 2006 the Cheeky Girls owed over a hundred thousand in unpaid taxes, so perhaps performing at a Freshers’ Week is their last-ditch attempt to make some money out of their only hit.

Izzie Hughes, a second year Politics student said: “The Cheeky Girls will be a total childhood throwback. It should be great, as long as enough alcohol is consumed beforehand.”

The best night for music is the 29th of September, with performances by Little Comets and Nothing But Thieves, but that’s about as good as it gets.

If you’re looking for something other than music, the SU have arranged for Danny Posthill to “entertain” you during the Comedy Night. With a wealth of pretty good impressions up his sleeve, he could be quite funny… if you haven’t already seen him perform them all on Britain’s Got Talent.

The Welcome Week Pass costs £50 for 16 events over two weeks, which saves you about £20 on entry if you plan on attending all the events.

Amalia Williams, a second year said: “I feel like there’s something for everyone, from nostalgic Cheeky Girls to up-and-coming bands like Nothing But Thieves.”

So as long as you’ve got an open mind, weren’t hoping for anyone too well-known and spend the £20 you’ve saved on entry on vodka instead, then maybe Freshers’ Week won’t be too bad after all.