What your place in the library says about you
We know everything about you
If you’re not religiously committed to spending every Wednesday and Friday night at the SU, you’re not doing Royal Holloway right. After all, it’s the only respite most of us get from hours in the library.
In fact, RHULers spend so long splitting their time between the SU and the library that an unbreakable connection is formed between where you’ll sit in the library and how you spend every SU night out. Don’t believe us? Check this out.
Let’s face it, you’re not really here to work and the sooner you accept why you have chosen to sit in the sociable area of the library, the better. You’re going to spend the afternoon telling anyone who listens: “I’ve been in the library for hours but haven’t actually done anything”, and we all know why. You’re there for the chirpse, using the whiteboards as some kind of tool to break down the encrypted study buddy/ friend-zone barrier, yet even wit is limited when calculating the Pigouvian tax.
Spend long enough here and become a permanent fixture on the library’s entrance floor. BNOC status will be yours.
On a night out you’ll find them…in the SU smoking Area; #alwaysonit
Don’t lie to yourself. You don’t actually want to be down there, least of all while it’s light outside.
The insufferable heat of the quiet area, caused by every librarian’s apparent inability to activate the air con, ups the humidity of a Surrey library to something akin to a Bangkok ping pong show.
Anyone who chooses to work in Quiet Study has only done so because they can’t work without turning to their friend every 10 minutes for a chat. It doesn’t take long for those conversations to dry up though and become no more than a regular update of their near-static word count.
On a night out you’ll find them…on the SU dance floor with mates where it’s hot, sticky and conversation is tedious.
Pat yourself on the back, you’ve secured a seat in Silent Study. A place where shit gets done but with an alarming amount of coffee, water, toilet and cigarette breaks. Fact: your bladder shrinks by half once the altitude of the first floor is hit.
In addition to those working hard, upstairs has plenty of people who are convinced the library is a catwalk, walking past everyone in the hope of landing a shout out on “Spotted”. Seriously though, do us a favour: be less attractive/distracting so we can get on with our work.
On a night out you’ll find them…on their way to Tommy’s bar with three Vk’s in hand.
The same people who avoid the SU with a barge pole also do the same with Bedford Library. Instead these mature, sophisticated folk retire to Founders Library where work is done in silence and all is well in the world.
If you’re here, you’re ageing prematurely and you know it. You hate students and escape to Founders so you can avoid conversations about last night and all the other bullshit those young student types whisper about in the so-called “library”.
On a night out you’ll find them…at The Happy Man where students and their Vk’s are nowhere to be seen.
If you’re not a music student you only ended up here because the grand half of Founders library is rammed. By turning left you’ve admitted a lost sense of identity, and spend the entire time hoping the musicians around you don’t figure out you’re an imposter. You don’t look like them, and you never could. Their whole image screams I’ve got my shit together better than you.
By venturing downstairs, you’re reminding classicists of life beyond their dungeon. Beware though, they can be a hostile bunch at the best of times and will not appreciate your Francis Drake-esque exploration into the furthest reaches of Founders Library.
On a night out you’ll find them…seeking friendship in Medicine/Stumble Inn on a Saturday night.
Final note: No matter where you study, take anything other than a Macbook out of your bag and prepare to face a sea of disgusted faces. This is Royal Holloway after all. #unitedbythemac