Everything you need to know about the Reading Quidditch team

This is Sirius


By now we’ve all seen Reading’s Quidditch team naked after their incredibly successful (internationally so) nude calendar venture. But it felt a bit awkward having seen them all naked without knowing so much as their names, so we decided to get to know the team a little better (but maybe a little LESS intimately).

What even is Quidditch though? Whilst it was inspired by the game from the Harry Potter series, it’s so much more than a bunch of Potterheads running around on brooms shouting spells at each other. It’s developed into a fast-paced and exciting sport.

teamFull-contact, fully gender-mixed and kind of like a combination of dodgeball and rugby, Quidditch is fascinating to see, and even more interesting to play. A team is made up of three chasers trying to put the quaffle through the opposing hoops; a keeper defending the hoops; two beaters throwing bludgers at the opposition to knock them off their brooms; and a seeker who goes for the snitch catch.

Reading uni’s team, the Reading Rocs, are in hardcore training mode currently, in preparation for BQC (the British Quidditch Cup) which is the biggest competition of the Quidditch year.

So who exactly are the Rocs?

CAPTAIN

Name: Chris Thomas

chrisAKA: Captain, Coach, Overlord
Course & year: Chemistry, 2nd Year
Position: Primary Beater but can play them all
Most likely to: Facebeat his teammates
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Face beating people…
Best chat-up line: “They just look at me”
Fun fact: I have met Bear Grylls and the Duke of Edinburgh
Usually found: Trying to organise some Quidditch event
Favourite night out: All of them
Future goals: Rep Team UK at World Cup
Best Harry Potter pun: You can’t cancel Quidditch?!

VICE CAPTAIN

Name: Jake Veryard

jakeCourse & year: Classical Studies with English Lit, 2nd year
Position: Seeker and Beater
Most likely to: Drunkenly climb in bins
Best chat-up line: *smashes ice cube* Now I’ve broken the ice, can we talk?
Usually found: Drunk in a field
Favourite night out: Pub
Future goals: Come home from a night out with all my possessions and no injuries

SOCIAL MEDIA SECRETARY

Name: Tom Newton

12721586_10153395660096305_1536789794_nAKA: Newton
Course and Year: BA History and Politics, 3rd Year
Position: Beater
Most Likely To: Drop Dope Rhymes
Favourite thing about Quidditch: All the friends I’ve made these past three years. And beating them all in the face!
Best Chat Up Line: Hey ladies, is it hot out here, or is it just you?
Fun Fact: I once got drunk in Kathmandhu
Usually Found: Asleep
Favourite Night Out: Pub Crawl!
Future Goals: Become a lecturer, sell some philosophical books and write a novel
Best Harry Potter Pun: I’m Sirius and don’t call me Shirley

SOCIAL SECRETARY

Name: Ari Carrington

ariAKA: Naz’s bitch
Course & year: English literature, 1st year
Position: Beater
Most likely to: Organise everyone’s social lives
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Throwing things at nerds
Best chat-up line: Do you have a plaster? Because I grazed my knee when I fell for you just now
Usually found: A&E
Favourite night out: Every night out
Future goals: A top ten finish at BQC

SOCIAL SECRETARY

Name: Naz Mussarrat

nazAKA: Bitch
Course & year: Accounting and business, 1st year
Position: Chaser
Most likely to: Feed you
Favourite thing about Quidditch: The people
Best chat-up line: “I don’t use chat up lines”
Fun fact: I’m very comfortable in my pajamas [read: goes out in public in her pajamas]
Usually found: With Ari
Favourite night out: Quorgies [that’s Quidditch house parties for all you muggles out there]
Future goals: Power bitch

WELFARE REP

Name: Harry Richardson

harryAKA: Happy
Course & year: BA Archaeology, 2nd year
Position: Chaser and Seeker
Most likely to: Perform a wedding
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Winning!
Best chat-up line: My hovercraft is full of eels
Fun fact: I make a fine bread pudding
Usually found: Sometimes lost
Favourite night out: Sakura
Future goals: Having my ditches all lined up
Best Harry Potter pun: Wingardium leviosaaaaa

Name: Jonathan Bloomfield

jonathanCourse & year: Computer Science, 3rd year
Position: Beater
Most likely to: Change the world (for better or worse)
Best thing about Quidditch: The people (corny but true)
Best pickup line: Challenge them to a Pokemon battle?( is that how people flirt?)
Usually found: Making bad life decisions
Best night out: One with free alcohol (and cheesy music)
Goals: Billionaire status
Best Harry Potter pun: Some may say this is a little riddikulus, but i see nothing Ron with it, Siriusly.

Name: John Calzolari

12735908_10153395660101305_416173127_nAKA: Liability
Course & year: Something extremely interesting and fascinating, 1st year
Position: Chaser and Seeker
Most likely to: Lose their shirt
Favourite thing about Quidditch: All the nudity
Best chat-up line: Did you fart, because you’ve blown me away
Usually found: Passed out in the skip outside Wessex
Favourite night out: I can’t remember
Future goals: I lack ambition
Best Harry Potter pun: I got 99 problems but a Snitch aint one

Name: Molly Whitaker

mollywAKA: Straight Molly
Course & year: Biomedical Sciences, 1st year
Position: Chaser
Most likely to: Be hit on
Favourite thing about Quidditch: the “hot” people
Best chat-up line: Catch a goat, you’ve pulled
Favourite night out: Halloween
Future goals: Pathologist

Name: Molly Maurice-Smith

mollymsAka: The other Molly
Course & year: Biological sciences, 1st year
Favourite thing about Quidditch: It definitely wouldn’t be the same without the awesome people I’ve met through Quidditch!
Best chat-up line: why do you think of my outfit? It’s girlfriend material
Fun fact: Can plank whilst doing shots
Usually found: Within reach of Netflix
Favourite night out: Movie night
Future goals: Get through my degree! Find a job I enjoy, maybe even work in Japan for a bit. Mostly just to be happy.
Best Harry potter pun: Voldemort didn’t wear enough layers outside. Coldemort.

Name: Guillermo

memoAKA: Memo
Course & year: Safety Engineering MSc
Position: Chaser
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Nerd Tackling
Best chat-up line: I may not be your cup of tea, but I’m a great shot of tequila.
Fun fact: I pole dance
Usually found: PARTYING
Favourite night out: Purple Turtle Saturday
Future goals: Play Quidditch World Cup
Best Harry Potter pun: Oh, for Fawkes’ sake.

Name: Alex Tzortzi

tzortziAKA: Tzortzi
Course & year: Chemistry, 2nd year
Position: Beater
Most likely to: Be naked
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Mud
Best chat-up line: You’re a 6, you’ll do
Usually found: In bed
Favourite night out: Drum and Basssss
Future goals: Bang my best mate’s mum

Name: Alex Brant

alexbrantAKA: Warcry
Course & year: BA Psychology and Philosophy, 3rd year
Position: Chaser, Beater, Keeper
Favourite thing about Quidditch: I both love and hate that it counts as exercise
Fun fact: For half my life, I was known by one of my middle names, Poppy
Usually found: Haunting the Psychology laboratories
Favourite night out: Two-For-One cocktails
Future goals: In Publishing

Name: Elle Codling

elleAKA: Codders
Course & year: MA English
Position: Chaser
Favourite thing about Quidditch: I can mess around with some great people and it counts as exercise!
Best chat-up line: I may not be Charles Dickens, but I can fulfil your Great Expectations
Fun fact: I’m learning to play the guitar, ukulele and banjo
Usually found: Cuddled up on the sofa with a book
Favourite night out: Movie / pizza night!
Future goals: Pursue my interests in academia, do a PhD and see where it leads
Best Harry Potter pun: You want a Harry Potter pun? You can’t be Sirius..
Name: Peter Glenister

12714462_10153395573911305_1234957793_n

AKA: Trimmer
Course and year: Human & Physical Geography, 1st year
Most likely to: Get thrown out of a pub
Favourite thing about Quidditch: the massive inclusivity of the sport yet it’s ability to remain incredibly physical
Best chat up line: I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves
Fun fact: I can bend my knees inwards at will
Usually found: Sakura
Favourite night out: Skint Rock @ Sakura
Future goals: Working PR/Marketing in London.
Best Harry Potter pun: If you don’t find me funny you’re just too Sirius

Name: Pete Whitehead

12666236_10153395573806305_1465326435_nAKA: The Other Pete
Course & year: Biomedical Science, 2nd year
Position: Chaser
Most likely to: Be drunk at 11 in the morning
Favourite thing about Quidditch: Broomsticks
Best chat-up line: Are you an element because I’ve got an ion you
Fun fact: Almost got kicked out of Park Bar
Usually found: In the library
Favourite night out: Pub with a good ale selection
Best Harry Potter pun: Do you mind if I Slytherin with you?

Name: Ben Camp

benCourse & year: Archaeology of the ancient near east MA graduate
Position: Chaser
Most likely to: Spend a day reading
Favourite thing about Quidditch: The inclusivity
Fun fact: Walked around the walls of Hattusa
Usually found: Reading and gaming
Favourite night out: Facebar
Future goals: PhD