What it’s really like to live in a house of seven
Hot water showers no longer exist
When it comes to finding a new Uni house you envision yourself living the dream with all of your friends in complete harmony. Like the Bad Neighbours Frat meets the Pitch Perfect Sorority. What could go wrong with seeing your best mates EVERY DAY, the more the merrier right? In reality it’s complete carnage. Here are some home truths that might make you reconsider living with more than four housemates.
Queuing for the bathroom
You’re already running late for that horrible 9am and the most vain housemate is taking hours in the bathroom. After waiting 20 minutes to use the shower, there is no hot water left and someone has used the rest of your shampoo… but you will never know who.
Feeding time at the zoo
A whole day of crying about deadlines is going to work up an appetite, so you go to put your turkey dinosaurs in the oven around 7pm. But all of the other hangry housemates have the same idea. Dinner turns into a balancing act with trays in the oven and quarrels about hob space.
You can never agree on anything
With so many different housemates comes so many different opinions and no one can agree on anything to watch. The boys want Super Sunday or a Fifa tournament but the girls want Keeping up With the Kardashians or Broadchurch. Even film nights are spent searching Netflix for an hour until it ends in a brawl and two people storming off.
No room at the inn
Even when you do actually manage to agree on something to watch there’s nowhere to sit anyway. Student living rooms are usually being the size of a downstairs toilet containing two mismatched, stained sofas. There’s always that one person left on the floor and you’re stuck sitting with someone’s feet up your bum.
More people = more mess
This divides the house into two; the people who make the mess and the people who moan about the mess. Student houses are full of mystery stains with the student scent of dirt, regret and vodka flowing through them. You come out of the bathroom dirtier than went you went in and the grotty kitchen leaves food unfit for human consumption. There’s always someone that hoards their washing up until the end of term and not even the chore rota can tame their laziness.
Friends of friends of friends of friends and pre-drinks
You’ll never get any quiet because the house is usually busier than Piccadilly Circus. Every day there’s always an extra two people in the house, plus that one friend who lingers and never actually leaves. Pre drinks turns into an event itself with so many people (including the regulars), so your lounge is more packed than Astoria’s basement. The only saving grace is knowing how much vodka people will leave behind… take it as hospitality payment.
The House group chat is usually the hub of arguments and abuse. There’s the one who always sends sarcastic gifs, the cocky keyboard warrior and the one who documents their whole life in messages. Organising anything is a nightmare and it mainly gets used by the housemate who gets lost in Tiger, asking ‘where are you all?’.
Despite weekends at home feeling like much needed respite, it isn’t all bad. There are always people around when you need to procrastinate and always someone that will be up for a last minute night out. You just need to learn to live together, like one big dysfunctional family.