Best ways to break up with someone on Valentine’s Day
Some particularly inventive ways to chuck the other half on the day that’ll hurt the most.
Whilst happy couples are finalising their Valentine’s Day plans, some of you may have something entirely more sinister in mind.Nothing says class and respectability like waiting for the most romantic day of the year to end your relationship.
Why not add a certain amount of finesse to your experience with these suggestions:
The drive by
Avoid a lengthy confrontation and speed away to freedom. Bonus marks for having a new partner in the passenger seat.
The fake proposal
This one is truly heartless. Build ’em up and knock ’em down. Have an escape route planned.
*Disclaimer* I am not responsible for any testicle retrieval operations resulting from an attempted fake marriage proposal.
The start of something awful
Nothing says breakup like handing your partner their first cat, reminding them that they will need many more to fill the vast emptiness left by your departure.
Your name up in lights
If you really can’t face your partner, try expressing your emotions in flaming lettering. Sensitive souls such as myself can use tea-lights. Other flammable substances are available, but careful, using anything too volatile could end badly. Accidentally setting fire to yourself in your girlfriend’s back garden might send across some mixed messages. And probably not garner much sympathy or assistance.