Just eight things more reliable than SOLO

SOLO and I got close over lockdown, but we’re not friends

We all know SOLO; the university’s online library, we have all come to greatly dislike SOLO over the past few terms. Apart from HathiTrust almost everything is more reliable than SOLO. When it is not refusing to let you log in, or you are having to re-authenticate your account for the twelve time it is alright.

At least it would be alright if it allowed you to actually find what you were looking for, you have all had those moments where after five minutes of looking you think you have found your book, but then only to realise you have found a review. Then you look again, and you do find the book, but it is in German. So, there are many more things more reliable than SOLO but here are eight. 

1. All the hacks being at Pret

It is true that is their native habitat and that is where they will be found at all opening hours. It will be their hundredth coffee of the day, bought with another student offer which uses the millionth Gmail account. But you could place a safer bet on finding hacks at Pret than you could about SOLO actually getting you to that one article you need to complete your essay due in about half an hour. 

2. England only being able to play half a game of any sport to any standard

I do not actually know what is going on here, but pick a sport and think about England playing it. They will only ever play one good half. Look at the recent six nations, England played some great halves, but they could not quite pull themselves together for a full match. The same goes for pretty much every other sport. Again, you can bank on this far more than you could bank on SOLO actually loading the correct JSTOR page. 

3. Going six months without a single match on Tinder

In all fairness this one may just be me, but it is much more reliable that I will get no matches on Tinder than SOLO actually working. This hurts even more when I think I have had no matches on Tinder for six months which is just as long as I’ve had the app. But at least it is reliable that I will have no matches, whereas SOLO will sometimes match me with my reading and sometimes it just does not want to. 

4. The Internet

This one is just upsetting. No matter how bad your internet is whilst at home I bet you know that the connection is better than the reliability of SOLO. The internet will work and let SOLO load far more than SOLO will ever actually find you that paper you need to read for a tutorial starting in fifteen minutes which you are woefully unprepared for. 

5. Microsoft Teams

Microsoft Teams does work; if the internet is bad just turn the camera’s off and it will all be fine. It is a reliable app. It has allowed teaching to go on this year. But what use is a reliable Teams even with a shit internet if you cannot do that reading. You will pitch up to those tutorials and claim bad internet and connection even though the connection is all fine. You claim it because you have not done the reading and you have not done the reading because SOLO is as unreliable as your housemates actually washing their dishes. But you know if you tell your tutor that SOLO was not working all they will say is that you needed to have been logged on. But you were logged in, so you besmirch the name of Teams to make up for the inadequacies of SOLO. 

6. Amazon Prime

Another thing which has taken over our lives the past few months. It has become as much a part of our daily lives as SOLO. It has gotten to the point that my house has several deliveries a day from Prime and we do not know what is in them. But you can count on them the day after you have ordered. Also, you can typically find what you are looking for. Both of those facts make it a much more reliable lockdown partner than SOLO.

7. Students not being refunded anything for online teaching

This has become another reliable state of the past year. Despite the fact we are not at university, despite the fact it is all online we are not going to be refunded. This is a legitimate fact and something we can continue to rely on sadly being the case. Whereas SOLO sometimes just does not work – which is actually a good reason for refunds.

8. The Tab producing quality content

You know this to be true, here is an example. This article itself proves that the tab produces great content. The Tab has been pushing this content out all throughout all of the lockdowns and has been doing so with consistent quality and regularity. The same cannot be said about SOLO.

So there are eight things more reliable than my friend SOLO. But in all seriousness SOLO is the most important thing to my course at the moment, so somebody for heaven’s sake please sort it out. It is a mess to find things, and reviews in dutch of articles on a book i need to read is of no use to me.