What you need to know before dating a law student
Don’t ask me to drink ginger beer from a bottle
When Netflix and chilling by yourself has become boring, and that pull from Parkers still hasn’t texted back, it may be time to start looking for a more long term companionship. Someone to share your snacks with, and keep you warm when you forget to pay your heating bill again. The law student, with their glamorous lifestyles and stupidly-paid work placements, may seem like an obvious candidate.
However, the life of the law student is not all champagne and snappy suits – there are a number of things you’ll need to be aware of before you decide to date one of us.
You will never win an argument
This is an obvious point. Law students aren’t throwing £9,000+ a year into a degree about arguing for nothing. Even when you’re right, you’re probably still wrong. The law student will be able to prove this with a detailed interpretation and analysis of every small thing you’ve said from the moment that you’ve met.. and if you haven’t backed your argument up with sufficient evidence, even if it sounds reasonable, they’ll throw it out at first instance.
You’ll have to get used to library dates
Law students are convinced their degrees are significantly more difficult than anyone else’s, including yours, so don’t be surprised if they ask to trade in your lunch date for a library session. It’s likely that they’ve set up base camp in their law library, insisting that they’ll be staying there from open to close. (At least you’ll save some cash.)
Keep your opinion on Brexit quiet
A not so obvious, but even more important point: if you think we should leave the EU, do not, under any circumstances, tell your law student partner. If you do you will be held solely and entirely responsible for screwing up the syllabus for the rest of their degree.
“Networking events” are not what you think
“Networking” is a secret term used by lawyers to describe the process whereby wealthy employers throw unlimited alcoholic beverages and canapes at law students, then chat about things that you probably won’t understand. If you’re lucky your partner might take you along so you too can indulge in the freebies, but make sure you don’t out shine them – for the law student, career goals are top on the list of priorities. (and yes, that means they come above you.)
They won’t drink ginger beer from a bottle
The golden rule for any law student.
You’ll need a vocab list
Mooting, mens rea, res ipsa loquitur and ratio decidendi. Half the time, it will seem like your significant other is speaking another language. It might be a good idea to start keeping a list of all the strange things you hear, as they won’t be impressed if they have to take time out of their busy schedules to explain to you what the hell they’re talking about for the second time. *sigh*
Get used to the existential crisis
The type where they are lying on the floor, sobbing that they’re going to give up law to become a gardener because “nothing makes sense.” Do not, under any circumstances, suggest that you might be able to help, particularly if your knowledge of the law is derived entirely from watching ‘Suits.’ You will have a textbook launched at your head.
Don’t let the caffeine run out
With the thousands of cases a law student insists they must study, they often find themselves working through to the early hours of the morning. While the average law student appears organised and in control most of the time, deprive one of caffeine and you will be left with a crumbled mess of a human being.
And finally, never ever suggest your new playmate is going to be your “get out of jail free” card
You’ll be chucked quicker than you can say “court adjourned.”