Oxford’s edgiest undergrad: Heat five
Edgier than the horizon
Aidan Balfe, Balliol
Aidan can be distinguished by his particular Manc accent as he talks about the many fashionable garms he got from thrift-shops in Brixton (velvet blazer included), single silver earring and his long black hair (which incidentally took him £40 in the hairdresser and three hours of styling to make look like he literally just rolled out of bed). He is often found rolling cigarettes in Balliol quad, sporting limited edition Nikes and reminiscing on how him and his boys used to have mad ones up in Denton (don’t worry, none of us are edgy enough to know where that is).
Tuesday Doherty, Classics, Worcester
She’s edgier than the horizon. Whether she’s dying her hair a controversial colour, doling out free undercuts to queer people only (£30 for everyone else), or refusing to go out because “she’s so over that”, Tuesday maintains her edgy spark. There are even rumours among the elite of Oxford’s Cellar Scene that she’s dating a blue-haired ENOC – Edgy Name on Campus. She truly deserves to be crowned Miss Edgy Oxford 2016.
Josh Deru, Matsci, Corpus Christi College
A man with enough edges to be a dodecahedron (figure 1.0) , they say meeting him is like riding a horse made of san pellegrino backwards through a field of undercooked quorn. When he’s not busy conquering mountains or composing alternative-indie-folk-techno-grime-chipmunk remixes for flute-piano duets, he can be found cutting the edgiest of shapes (see fig. 1.0) in the Bully, hip flask full of undiluted squash in hand.