Nobody is impressed by the rubbish you keep sharing on Facebook

You’re a keyboard warrior


Recently, Facebook was awash with links about how the government was going to ban WhatsApp. Nanoseconds later the moronic inferno was pulsing with predictable anger: fucking Tory scum, they’re evil, David Cameron’s a baby eating monster etc. etc.

But anyone with a modicum of sense knew those articles were bullshit. Obviously WhatsApp wasn’t going to be banned. As long as you’re not an utter moron, a little bit of thought would have made it clear how impractical and stupid that would be.

I’m a bit of an optimist: I don’t think you’re all halfwits with the combined intelligence of a fishbowl. You knew that what you were sharing was sensationalist crap. So why did you do it?

The answer (obviously) is no

The same goes for all the Outdoor Cinema Facebook events, or the Total Wipeout tour. They’re all fake, obviously. When they popped up overnight in hundreds of cities without any details, it was blatantly clear that it was one big scam. You probably could have worked that out. Yet you all clicked attending anyway. Every. Single. Time.

Your futile attempts at slacktivism are just wonderful too. Stop changing your profile pictures to pretend you love gay people. You don’t make a difference. Your FB friends don’t care what you think.

Put away your vanity and constant desire to be on #trend. You’re not adding anything to the conversation by being the millionth person to share something without any personal commentary on top (not that anyone wants to hear your opinions, anyway).

You’re just slaves to the social media editors of every news publication in the planet. A mindless drone, haplessly clicking the share button over and over again, singlehandedly sustaining our content-churning, click-hungry media economy.

Rather than clogging our newsfeeds with your drivel, take a few seconds. Put that one brain cell of yours to good use. And think about why you’re sharing it. Is it because you genuinely believe it’s true? Then go ahead, there’s no hope for you anyway.

But if it is because everyone else is, and you’ve got some weird FOMO about current affairs discourse, then stop. Don’t become part of the problem. Value your intelligence over being yet another sheep in the chain of social media obsession and narcissism.

But you won’t stop, will you? Because you’ve been conditioned to think that everyone cares about what you’re reading. Conditioned to share everything in the pitiful hope that it might get you a few likes.

May as well share this article to your newsfeed then.