Best Clubbers: Week one
Who looked like a twat this week?
Matt ScottThis week brought a sweet return to the wonders of Fubar, Bridge and Retox.
Just as Homer’s Odysseus longed for the return to his beautiful Ithaca, so the students of Oxford desperately sought out the sweaty infernos of disappointment and regrettable decisions, which go by the names of Cellar, Park End, Bridge, Wahoo, and Camera.
So without further adieu, The Tab presents Hilary 2015’s inaugural Best Clubbers!
Hipster beard or lumberjack sex offender?
To the fella in the background: Don’t worry, she still values your friendship
Bringing the King’s Road douchebaggery to Oxford
Lock away the children.
Questionable clothes. Questionable actions.
Needs a light. Needs some mates.
Omg such jokers! Limes are bare funny lol!!!
Omg guys, Jacob Elordi is going to Oxford University in October to study English
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe fell in love with the campus while filming Saltburn
Oxford Uni lecturer stalked by man who flew 4,000 miles to her with a can of pepper spray
Emily SmithHe sent his bags to her office and wanted her to ‘be his Valentine’
Oxford Uni chaplain who compared sex offenders to ‘puppies needing training’ given welfare role
He asked one student assault victim if they were ‘aware of the effect they had on men’, but has now secured a post at another college
These are the subjects you need to study at Oxbridge to more than double your grad salary
In one subject, studying it at Oxbridge over any other uni will get you £47k more per year
Oxford University College offers students a Halal menu option but it includes… red wine
One student said she was ‘sadly not surprised’ at the mistake
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at The University of Oxford have successfully sued the uni
Emma Watson studies on Oxford’s creative writing course
So, people are rinsing Oxford students for dancing at a ball and it’s low-key really mean
A Ceilidh is a huge part of Scottish culture
Oxford University Vice-Chancellor with £232k salary says grads should be donating to their uni
Was my £9k a year not enough!
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at Oxford are suing the university for unfair dismissal
The lecturers also compared their situation to the Post Office scandal
Oxford uni called ‘patronising’ for job advice despite banning its students from working
Oxford’s policy on part-time jobs reads: ‘Term-time employment is not permitted except under exceptional circumstances’
Students from two Oxford colleges are throwing Saltburn themed parties this term
One of them is Felix and Oliver’s actual college from the film
Students at University of Oxford housed in four-star hotels due to a lack of accommodation
One of the hotels costs up to £150 a night and has an indoor pool and spa
A professor at the University of Oxford has told students to use ChatGPT for essays
The economics students were told AI ‘should help you produce a much better essay’
Oxford students forced to sleep in queues for over 24 hours to sign uni accommodation
‘It was absolutely freezing, I’m wearing three jumpers right now’
All the Oxford on campus filming locations where Emerald Fennell shot Saltburn
Harrison BrocklehurstStudents literally loaned their actual dorm rooms to the production team
BBC denies allegations of antisemitism on University Challenge due to octopus mascot and Palestinian flag colours
‘We utterly condemn the abuse that has been posted and shared’
Oxford student found escort waiting in their room booked by the university
The student found a ‘woman sitting on [their] bed in a lingerie robe’ in their hotel room
So, some Oxford Colleges actually have a chalet students can visit and it’s big Tory vibes
Rah Bartholomew are you coming to the College chalet this year?
Katie Hopkins is speaking at the Oxford Union this term and shock, no one wants her
She’s going to be debating… veganism?
Oxford College asks students to sleep on mattresses in shared rooms due to RAAC in halls
Not really the Oxford dark-academia dream you signed up for is it?
Ella Ding dropped some brutal shade towards Jayden from MAFS Australia on Eden’s TikTok
Long live her Eynaud brothers vendetta!
Meeting at 19 to kids at 20, inside Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson’s age gap relationship
Lily ColdstreamMovies, music videos, and marriage
Richard Gadd shares theory on why Martha was crying when she entered pub in Baby Reindeer
Ellie RingThis makes it 10 times creepier
From E4 to Oscar nominations: All the major actors who got their big break in Skins
Kat QuintonYes, that is a very young Daniel Kaluuya in a snapback
Erm, there’s a secret code hidden in Martha’s Baby Reindeer emails and it’s WILD
This is the most random crossover
Jessica Gunning has spoken about how ‘tough’ it was playing Martha in Baby Reindeer
Francesca Eke‘I never saw her as a villain, I always saw her as multifaceted and complicated’
Richard Gadd reveals how he felt reliving his traumatic experiences filming Baby Reindeer
‘Who in their right mind wants to revisit the worst thing that ever happened to them?’
The few mysterious details Richard Gadd has revealed about the real Teri from Baby Reindeer
Phoebe Kowhai‘She was always the voice of reason’
Feuds to the return of Collins: Everything we know about the MAFS Australia 2024 reunion
It’s going to get spicy
Okay, everyone remain calm but MAFS Australia 2024 is officially ending this week?!
What am I supposed to do with my evenings?!
Brit Smith has finally posted a video fully addressing the JoJo Siwa song ‘theft’ situation
‘I just want to make it clear that JoJo has done nothing wrong to me’
Matty Healy’s family defend him after digs in Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department
It comes after theories the album is about their relationship
People think they’ve found the real Martha from Baby Reindeer laughing in a stand-up video
It’s from a clip of Richard Gadd doing a comedy routine back in the day
Everything Richard Gadd has said about his stalker Martha since Baby Reindeer released
‘My stalker is a victim’
Lucinda’s set to ‘make millions’ after MAFS Australia, with a ‘bidding war’ over her next gig
‘Her positive energy has resonated with viewers who see her as a breath of fresh air’
Richard slams MAFS Australia 2024 producers for ‘ripping off’ cast with low pay
‘I lost a lot of money appearing on the show’
Everything Jack O’Connell has been up to since breaking all our hearts as Cook in Skins
Rebecca MurphyHe’s now starring in the new Amy Winehouse biopic Back To Black
From absolute legends to losers, the definitive ranking of Coachella’s biggest headliners
Aaron EdwardsThere’s been the best of shows, there’s been the worst of shows
Tori has finally spilled what her friendship status is now with the other MAFS Australia girls
‘What those girls did to me was not friendship’
