In defence of ridiculous fashion trends

SYDONY JOHNSON argues why we should embrace bucket hats and candy-coloured faux fur.

We have to remember, looking GOOD is subjective. But, looking OUT-THERE is non-debatable. Thus, fashion, for all the objectively good-looking people that seem to dominate its industry, is really about demanding attention.

So let’s think twice before we slate the storm of ridiculous fashion trends which has recently hit the catwalks.

1/ Junk food

What could be better than eating fries from Maccie D’s?

Having a Moschino phone case that imitates them. It’s like consumption but without the carb intake. It’s also childish, bizarre, and pretty pointless, but that’s the beauty of this whole trend.

Isn’t it about time we had a bit of fun with fashion and were happy rather than miserable hobbling along in heels that make our feet weep, and freezing our tits off in sleeveless winter clothing?

Even if you’re too boring to simply accept junk-food fashion for what it really is (FUN), then it might please you to view it from a slightly different perspective.

It’s a trend whose origins stuff the whole thing full of irony. Take, for example, the bitter paradox of a size 00 model strutting down the Moschino runway in foodstuff she’s (most likely) never touched in her life; or the extra-large price tag on an outfit reminiscent of the one donned by the kid who works at the drive-through for minimum wage.

So, there is substance to this craze, whether it was intended by the designers or not. And if you still can’t take the ridiculousness of this trend, well, you’re boring – go buy yourself a Happy Meal.

2/ Faux fur & quilted coats

It’s not often one finds anything practical on the catwalk, so surely we should just embrace it when we do? These jackets are cozy, comfortable and also one of those blinding examples of items that look expensive, even though you could probably grab one off the rail at Asda for about twenty quid (no-one will ever know.)

There’s also something fabulously rock-n-roll about wearing half a fake gorilla dyed pink and blue, and that’s why we keep seeing it en vogue every few years.

Hence, it’s not even just a case of not getting cold – it’s also a case of wrapping up to hot up. I’m going to be warm this winter, because a) I love fur and b) don’t mind looking like the Michelin man/Cookie Monster.

3/ The bucket hat

The beanie has bounced. No longer will we be forced to look like chavvy smurfs, by some try-hard hip-hop headwear fashion that, quite frankly, just needs to die. Because, the bucket hat is back.

Anyway, the bucket hat is “tougher” than the beanie ever was, sported serially by the likes of Schoolboy Q who takes the credit for its return on Mac Miller’s Gees: ‘Brought the gangster’s back to bucket hat, how real is that?’ What makes this even better is that no kid over the age of nine would usually be seen dead in one, but now, heroes as hard as Rick Ross have been repping the piece and it has resultantly become the staple for all the ‘I don’t care’ party-goers around.

Yeah, we won’t all look as tough guy in ours as these icons (I’m pretty sure I look like an oversized cabbage patch kid in mine), but the whole point of the bucket hat is that it proves you don’t give a damn. And everyone loves a guy that just doesn’t care.


To wrap up, what I’ve ultimately figured out throughout this journey of modal madness is that, whilst many of these phases seem to be lacking in meaning, or deep representation of social change or controversy, they are WHACKY. They are “stand-out”. They are different. And if that’s what you call ridiculous, so be it. I’d rather look a little bit silly and not give a shit, than manoeuvring my way through Oxford slower than paint dries.