How to break out of the college bubble

Because actually liking the people on your staircase was never really that likely

After over a month of incessant social contact with the same handful of people, sometimes the college atmosphere can get a bit much – it’s time for evasive manoeuvres.

Here’s how to make some new friends and break out the college bubble – although you’ll probably end up crawling back to your old mates when it all goes to shit.

Eat Out

Stop having meals in college. Hall / the dining room is easily one of the most sociable spaces in any college, therefore it must be avoided at all costs.

Sign up for formal hall swaps. Have lunch outside the Rad Cam. Cook for strangers.

Play a sport

Alienate your entire friendship circle by taking up an extremely time consuming sport which renders you socially crippled.

You’ll spend so much time in the gym with your new squad buddies you’ll practically be family after a term, with the added bonus that you’ll look great naked.

Congratulations on your new Wednesday-night-only mates.

Go to Cellar

All smoking areas are an opportunity to meet people, especially if you carry around a lighter (bit desperate if you don’t smoke but keen people make more friends, maybe) but Cellar’s smoking area is always extra popular – it’s physically impossible to spend more than half an hour in the sweaty depths without emerging for oxygen and an deep inhalation of some sanity.

Dress to impress though – you’re not going to make any friends in your Hollister t-shirt.

Be from a private school

Never mind the smaller class sizes, better job opportunities and this girl’s approval – the real reason you were sent to private school is so you could have more friends at Oxford.

Apparently 42.6% of us here did, and chances are if you’re one of the lucky ones, you know loads of the others – there’s only really about 10 private schools anyway, and it’s a given that everyone is ‘family friends’.

Get networking!

Join a society / be in a play

Society wise, you can go artsy (Magdalen Film Soc), social-conscience-y (WomCam, Another Gaze film society) or just very niche (the CS Lewis society).

Equally try being in a play, there’s no way to get yourself into a clique faster than 6 weeks of intense rehearsals, and it’s the same 30 people in all of them, so once in, you’ve sorted your pals forever!

Whichever you choose, you’ll meet people who understand your special snowflake interests in a way your college friends never could.

Crewdate

Admittedly not the best way to make long-term chums, but if you’re short of time, crewdating presents an opportunity to get to know someone very well, very quickly.

You risk being sat next to an absolute dickhead for an hour and a half, but fun games like pennying and sconcing might distract you from their shit banter.

Equally, crew dates are scientifically proven to be the best way to pull – so if you’re not looking for long term commitment, Arzoo is your friend.

Who knows, this one’s a gamble.