Tab tries: Real tennis

“Sport of kings” or game of wankers?


Tucked in behind Merton St. is Oxford’s Real Tennis club (O.U.T.C) – as one of just 43 courts in the world, it’s a niche sport to say the least.

The hype was real in the sixteenth century – Henry VIII was a big fan, and two French kings played so hard it killed them. The French Revolution also began on a real tennis court. Tres bien.

The numbers? No idea.

But what is it like to play today? The assessment so far… bloody good fun. Okay, so there’s no pistol duel when your opponent goes bat-shit McEnroe, but I’ve been reliably informed that real tennis is just as great today as it was 400-odd years ago.

It’s all a bit rogue – the rules are a nightmare, there’s odd corners, slopes and pointy edges all over the place, and the rackets look like they should be in a glass cabinet somewhere in Wimbledon – but these quirks just add to the charm of the game.

A young Henry Tudor in his prime.

The pro who took our lesson was an absolute gent. He told us how they re-sew every ball by hand once a week – that level of commitment is great to see.

Lessons are really reasonably priced, and the pros are great at accommodating complete beginners – the technique certainly doesn’t come instantly, in fact it’s bloody difficult, but the challenge is certainly one to relish.

Bloody good backhand Sire

Once you get over the inherent strangeness of the whole thing – aiming for a magical unicorn that automatically wins you the point being particular peculiarity – it’s a skillful, highly technical racquet sport that combines the best elements of squash, tennis and princely regality.

The black bits are in. Easy.

We’re presented with an array of unique opportunities as students of Oxford, and the ability to play real tennis is right up there with the best of them.