WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Michaelmas Union lineup released

The Tab brings you an exclusive preview of this term’s Union lineup – it’s surprisingly not shit.

Eric Schmidt – 4pm Weds 1st week

Disgustingly rich

Valued at an obscene $8.3 billion, the current chairman and former CEO of Google, Schmidt is the Union’s big corporate name this term. He took over the running of Google in 2001, transforming the Silicon valley start-up into one of the world’s biggest corporations.
He also helped manage Obama’s election campaign and has been on the board of directors for Apple.
Naomi Wolf – Monday 8pm, 2nd week

Her most recent book is called Vagina: A New Biography

Cuntry Living will love this Feminist Wolf. She’s the author of the bestselling book The Beauty Myth and hailed as the leading spokeswoman of the ‘third wave of the feminist movement’.

Famed for catchy lines like ‘no matter what a woman’s appearance may be, it will be used to undermine what she is saying’, and ‘a culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience’, she’s a bit of a feminist heavyweight.   Tommy Robinson – Thursday 8pm, 2nd week

Looking pretty pale

Bad boy gone good Tommy Robinson quit the English Defence League last year citing concerns over the ‘dangers of far-right extremism’.

Now Robinson is fresh from a year and a half stint in prison, where he was allegedly the victim of a racially motivated attack. He also owns a tanning salon.

Angela Davis – Weds 8.30pm, 8th week

Interests include communism, feminism and veganism

An American political activist who was linked to the Black Panther Party and served as leader of the Communist Party USA in the 60s. Now she continues to research areas of human rights, with a special interest in the rapid expansion of inmate populations in the US.   Sir Ian McKellen – Monday 8pm, 4th week

Great taste in hats

He’s won pretty much every acting award ever and recently declared X-men a ‘gay metaphor’. The seventy-five year old actor and activist will no doubt be a favourite of this term – no one can resist a bit of Gandalf.

Stephen Fry – Wednesday 8pm, 4th week

He knows more than you ever will

Following a lecture last year at Catz the Cantab returns to his true home to tread the boards of the debating chamber and enthrall with his ludicrous lexicon. Described as a ‘stupid person’s idea of what an intelligent person is like’, he’ll probably talk about Coke. A lot.

Jo Brand – Monday 8pm, 6th week

England’s most famous female comedian

BAFTA-winning comedian, writer and actress and regular QI guest Jo Brand adds a lighter note to this term’s line-up. From the wards of a psychiatric hospital, Brand has become one of the biggest names in British comedy and returns this year as the presenter of the Great British Bake Off

Jack Dorsey –  Friday 2pm, 6th week

Hates facebook Hashtags. Smart guy

The 36-year old founder of Twitter has been compared to Steve Jobs and has become widely recognised as one of the most innovative minds in technology. But he’s not your average nerd – at one point he was fired as CEO of Twitter for ‘habitually leaving the office at 6p.m for drawing classes, hot yoga sessions and a course at a local fashion school’.