Tasha Dhanraj week 8: 4 things I learnt from reading Theology at Oxford

1. Everybody likes to talk about religion. Nobody likes to listen to someone talk about religion

Everyone I’ve ever met has something to say about religion, meaning I get into a lot of debates when I’m just trying to go about my daily business. I nearly always end up the most hated person in the room either because I’ve offended someone with my opinions on authorship in the Old Testament, or because I’ve pissed off an atheist by insisting my subject has value and occasionally just because I am a bit of a prick.

Whenever the going gets tough, though, at least I can just curl up in a ball and remember that time my tutor wrote “Good use of quotations” on my essay.

2. There’s probably no hell! 

Hell or Hogsmeade?

There’s actually no mention of hell in the Bible! There’s lots of things that sound like they could be hell, but then the Bible doesn’t make the future on earth sound that peachy anyway what with all the ‘suffering such as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now’. Next time you tell someone to go to hell, you might as well be instructing them to take a trip to Hogsmeade.

3. Talking about religion in a non-religious setting is offensive. Always.

If you have something to say about a religion, regardless of whether it is negative or not, if you’re not saying it in a religious meeting then you will offend someone somehow and be accused of social tyranny. I’ve found if you study Theology and don’t want to offend anyone then you should never say anything about your subject to anyone.

In fact, never say anything at all. Ever. On any matter.

Make a den out of your bed sheets and never escape.

4. Every pop song ever has a layer of hidden religious meaning

One D- closet theologians

From closer listening, even the most straightforward and redundant of songs are actually about clamouring to make contact with the ultimate reality of all things.

Pink’s 2012 hit ‘Try’ is actually a very good summary of the Buddha’s Fire Sermon.

One Direction’s ‘You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful’ is clearly a modern day reinterpretation of Song of Songs Chapter 1.

Even Ylvis’ ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ is obviously a melodic expression of the trials Adam experienced whilst trying to communicate with animals before he was given another human companion.

Thanks so much for reading my column over the last 8 weeks. It’s been a pleasure!