Tasha Dhanraj’s thought for week 5: Christian Union, why all the free food?

I’ve been trying to work out what the deal is with OICCU’s obsession with the food and men in chequered shirts combination. It’s either that they think that the price of a student’s spiritual welfare is a Tesco Bakery cookie and an M&S shirt, or this is them bringing forth the kingdom of God today. Theologically, the latter has the more likely.

A taste of heaven?

Generally, the way it goes is that whatever we see of the kingdom of God on earth is just a mere glimpse of what it will actually be like after judgment day. Many people think Christians should be trying to demonstrate the kingdom of heaven today. So, what OICCU are trying to tell us is that when we are united with our heavenly father, there will be unlimited Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference cookies. As for the men, you’re in luck if you have a fetish for plaid. It’s almost worth converting to Christianity for.

Being a theology student, I’m always up for heading along to all the various Christian Union events. Sometimes I go out of curiosity, sometimes I go because I’m a bit of a twat and I like a good argument. I’m 5”2 and have very little upper body strength; arguing with Christians on the merit of Paul’s letters to the Ephesians is the closest I’m ever going to get to being in a fight.

One of the concerning things I’ve noticed from attending all these various Christian events is that there seems to be a direct negative correlation between how intensely evangelical the event is and the amount and quality of free food on offer.

The Friday Lunchtime Talks at St Aldates are arguably the least preachy and there you get a full meal of glorious sandwiches, cookies, fruit and squash. The next level up, you’ve got Text-a-Toastie which varies in evangelicalness depending on how much alcohol has been consumed prior to sending in your question and as a result you get a light evening snack. Then, by the time you’ve decided to take the plunge and go to a Love Examined event (which is full on Jesus chat for an hour) all you get is dessert. Good dessert but still. You’d need to eat beforehand. Pathetic!

Worst of all – according to my Christian friends, the free food parade ends once you take the plunge and sign up to spend your eternity with the big man upstairs. What does this tell us about heaven? Is all the good stuff just there to entice you before you actually get there? Is heaven like a crack den with a really nice driveway? Or, perhaps more fittingly like a McDonalds with a red carpet DriveThru?

Examining Genesis, Adam and Eve were vegetarian and possibly even vegan before the fall. If a heavenly world doesn’t have steak, cheese or ice cream in it then really I would struggle to see the point in eating anyway.

Still, every church I’ve been in has plenty of men wandering around in chequered shirts so if that’s your thing then at least you’re in luck.