Cambridge students crash Keble ball

Cambridge students broke into Oxford’s most sacred ball at the weekend. Here’s how the despicable tabs managed it

As perhaps the biggest of the term so far, It’s no surprise Keble Ball had its fair share of attempted break-ins this year. After various rumours of bouncers leaving at midnight, and a fairly dubious tip-off (“ask for ____ on the door with thirty quid cash in hand”) that was predictably bullshit, it seemed the only means of entry was a good old fashioned breach of the perimeter.

The Tab was there to watch the antics ensue, as wave after wave of plucky young black-tie bandits scaled the walls in, only to be left scrambling back out again in fear of capture.

Scouting out the other side

After running into a trio of light-blues who made the journey down on behalf of our delightful colleagues at the Tab Cambridge, equipped with a video camera to record the whole thing, they identified a electrical circuit box on the corner of Keble and Blackhall road as a potential means of entry.

We watched them struggle over and land on the other side, a decent effort, and I must say at this point I thought they were home and dry. We looked on as they disappeared round a corner, heading towards the other side of Keble where the ball was taking place.

Looking inconspicuous

Unfortunately for our Tab friends, roughly two minutes later, we saw them franticly sprinting back towards where they’d jumped in (much to our amusement), desperately trying to scramble back up the wall having been spotted by a member of security who was in pursuit. They just about made it back out onto Blackhall, diving down an alleyway opposite. We found them five minutes later, still hiding in a bush; “is it safe to come out now?”

Unfortunately, the tab scum did complete their mission in the end. In fairly spectacular fashion I must say. However, this doesn’t detract from the fact it’s an absolute disgrace such a travesty was allowed to happen. Whilst young innocent Oxfordians where being hassled by security, the sneaky light blues weaselled their way into an Oxford ball for Oxford students. Such an event cannot be allowed to happen again, and retaliation will be swift.

Many more punters soon arrived (unfortunately the distraction the tabs needed), also hopping over the perimeter at the same locations; some scrambled back out, others never returned. One lonely man said he received a text from his friends, saying there were in. They’d left him on the other side. We could offer little consolation.

Stars of CCTV

By this point, a decent crowd of around 15-20 black-tied students had gathered half-way down Keble Road. Another potential means of entry had been spotted; using a dust-bin to climb onto a ledge that backed onto accommodation and student rooms. Several guys hopped up, and disappeared on the other side. We’ll probably never know whether they made it or not.

Finally, we watched others have one last go climbing onto the circuit box on Blackhall. The Keble security had finally wised up, placing a bouncer at the point of entry. One bandit said he’d been told he was on CCTV, and that the police had been called. An empty threat perhaps, but on leaving soon after, we saw two police cars heading in Keble’s direction. Little did they no the Cambridge boys were hiding under a bridge. Bastards.

Not exactly subtle

The tabs even had the gall to celebrate their success with a video from inside Keble- is nothing sacred?