Cambridge beats Oxford in latest uni world rankings
Scandal sparked by latest implausible university league tables
Apparently our inferior cousins are considered to be a better university than we are.
According to (implausible) data collated by The Complete University Guide, Cambridge scores better than Oxford on every metric used. Their higher score on entry standards is understandable, given that they have to use higher entry requirements since they clearly don’t trust their interview process…
But they also score higher on student satisfaction, research assessment, and, worst of all, graduate prospects.
Oxford Vice Chancellor Andrew Hamilton when he heard the news
Students, when asked to comment, were unimpressed. One remarked “Cambridge may be a better university, but it’s still full of punts.”
But we still beat them in the Boat Race, plus their Vice Chancellor was caught admitting that they felt that they were “no longer performing as well against the old foe”.
On the plus side, we’ve had more ex-Presidents visit us than they have this week.
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