Dafydd MacLennan Week 2: Sun, sex and suspicious tutors

Oxford’s University’s Modern Languages Faculty’s official specification of what its students should be doing on their year abroad:

The Year Abroad is normally spent in the third year.  Students are required to spend a period of not less than 24 weeks abroad. The objectives of the Year Abroad are for students to:

• Improve their language skills in a variety of practical contexts
• Acquire first-hand knowledge of the culture of the target language(s)
• Develop the ability to cope independently in the target language(s)
• Students must also undertake such work as has been agreed in advance with their College Tutor.

Yeah, no, this is simply just not going to happen, here is a more accurate description of how I have actually spent my year abroad faffing around the Iberian Peninsula:

1: “Improve their language skills in a variety of practical contexts”

Total cultural immersion with some English friends helps to smooth the transition

Since Oxford puts very little emphasis on speaking during the first two years of our degree, a more accurate interpretation of this is: Struggle through in a language you can barely speak and make an utter tit of yourself in a variety of public situations.

I rather hoped that doing an internship in Portugal would really improve my languages skills, but, since I was working in the Erasmus office of a University, my working language was very much English.

But while my Portuguese didn’t drastically improve the same cannot be said for my Estonian. Yes you read correctly, Estonian. For some unknown reason my computer in the office was stuck in Estonian and I had no clue how to change it so I just had to adapt. After all, that is what this year abroad is all about.

So when I get back to Oxford and my tutors ask me if I have “improved my language skills in a variety of practical situations” my answer will be, yes I am now fully proficient in Estonian ICT vocab such as kopeeri ja kleebi. Whack that into google translate and click Estonian. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

2:  “Acquire first-hand knowledge of the culture of the target language(s)”

Seeing double

This is probably true, just not at all in the way that your tutor wants. You will simultaneously learn to love and hate the culture and quirks of your host country. I hated the Portuguese’s utter disregard for logic and efficiency with a passion, but fell in love with the unbelievably cheap alcohol.

Take the example of a Portuguese language class at the University. When our very small classroom was crammed with far too many students, the Professor declared that if any more students sign up then they would simply have to cancel the course… Apparently trying to find a larger classroom was just not an option.

At least I could drown my frustrations with a 2€ bottle of Vinho Verde (it’s fucking delicious) fully aware that to spend under £7 in the UK on a bottle of wine would mean condemning yourself to something vile.

3: “Develop the ability to cope independently in the target language(s)”

Spain is famous for its large, hard surfaces. I couldn’t wait to try them out for myself!

I think ‘cope’ might be a bit of a stretch. Whilst our degree teaches us how to accurately critique medieval Spanish literature, it has – in typical Oxford style – forgotten that there is in fact a real world out there, kicking us out of our proverbial nest well before we can fly.

Many times I’ve found myself at the front of a queue in a complete flap because I’ve forgotten the Spanish word for orange, but for some reason a line from Don-qui-fucking-jote springs to mind. ¡Gracias for that Oxford!

4: “Students must also undertake such work as has been agreed in advance with their College Tutor.”

Before you embark on your year aboard every fourth year linguist will tell you: “I did no Uni work during my year abroad and I really regret it now that I’m doing finals.” I, like every dumb-ass second year before me told myself that I would be different and would re-read all of my course books in the original language… I am now eight months into the year, and I’ve barely read a leaflet in a foreign language.

Living the dream: randomly jumping in yet another foreign square.

I am confident that I will return to my degree just as clueless as when I left.