Cambridge Vice Chancellor admits ‘We’re not as good as Oxford’

Vice Chancellor admits even he’d rather be a leper


The Vice Chancellor of Cambridge University has shockingly announced that Oxford is indeed better than Cambridge.

According to The Cambridge Tab, the remarks were made at a Q&A held with members of the student body. In response to one question, Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz MA PhD FRS FRCP FMedSci Cantab conceded that he no longer felt that Cambridge was “performing as well against the old foe”.

Some ashamed Cambridge students flee the second rate university in a punt

This year’s Boat Race saw Cambridge’s humiliating defeat, with what was described by the official Boat Race website as “one of the biggest margins of victory in recent years” for the Oxford team.

One entirely unbiased Oxford student told the Tab, “Oxford’s the original and Cambridge is just a cheap imitation set up by some second rate academics fleeing from the town of Oxford. These false pretenders need to be put back in their place. #idratherbealeperthanatab”.

So far the Vice Chancellor of Oxford, Andrew Hamilton, has not commented. We can only speculate that he is laughing too hard to be able to make a statement.