In defence of pissing in sinks

There is no better way to christen your new room than by weeing all over the basin like a mangy tom-cat marking his territory.

When a night’s worth of alcohol is swilling around in the bladder and the bathroom down the hall is just too far away, what more welcome sight is there than the glowing pristine white of the bedroom sink?

Urine luck if you have a sink

For those of the male persuasion, the gentleman’s en suite is situated at a far more comforting height than its traditional equivalent. There’s no need for accurate aim in the dark and distorted vision of a drunken night.

Not only is the sink sympathetic to men, but ladies too: never again will you have to complain about us leaving the seat up. With some gymnastic skill and a degree of upper body strength, the sink can be made into a unisex lavatory.

Critics of sink peeing to piss off

There are, of course, some basic rules to follow. Sinks shall only be used for urination – I know what you’re all thinking and don’t even try it. If the sink appears worn, degraded or flimsy, don’t even begin unzipping, especially for the girls. Remember, many college appliances are decades old and it only takes a straw to break the camel’s back. Leave both taps on during the act – it imitates flushing and prevents a lingering stench.  Only engage in this act in a room where there is not a toilet – I got so used to it last term that I relieved myself in my bathroom sink at home over the holidays, with a functioning loo right next to it. Shame. Shame and self-pity.

Make better use of your in-room facilities

So, when you stagger home after Park End, or are stuck in the middle of an essay crisis, just remember, the sink is always there for you.