The Tab’s guide to doing an all-nighter

We’re staying up all night. But unfortunately it’s not to get lucky. Sometimes that last minute essay needs to get finished and there’s no way you’re completing it before midnight. So for once, The Tab is getting out of the pub and doing some revision. And this time it’s serious.

We’ve come up with a number of ways to do that desperate ‘all-nighter’.

Don’t fear! We have solutions…

1
We’ll start out with the obvious – A caffeine cocktail. Mix some Pro-Plus into a strong coffee, stir well, and add Red Bull or Blue Bolt according to taste. It’s a mixture we like to call ‘The Eye Opener’. Good luck getting asleep after that.

2
Buy a waterproof notebook and do your work in a cold shower. That freezing water is sure to keep you awake whilst you study long into the night. You can seek treatment for Pneumonia the next day.

This guy has the right idea.

3
Tie your hair to the ceiling or a clothes railing. Admittedly you might have to have long hair for this one, but every time you start to fall asleep the tug on your hair is sure to wake you up. Painful but effective. For those with short hair try tying things to your ears or other bodily protrusions.

4
Listen to metal music very loudly. It’s hard to fall asleep when Slipknot’s pounding through your head. Your neighbours won’t be happy but at least the essay will get finished.

Prepare for some hard-core revision.

5
Turn it into a competition and play a game of ‘Strip Revision’.  Work with friends and if one of you starts to nod off/ lose concentration then it’s time to lose a layer. You don’t want to be naked in the library at three in the morning. Believe us…

6
Go on an energy product binge. If ‘The Eye Opener’ doesn’t do the trick, then buy energy bars, drinks, and anything made by Lucozade. (Just make sure you’re ready to go to the toilet the next morning).

It’s like a picnic for for desperate students.

7
Finally, lick any flat surface in the Rad Cam. The cocaine traces you are bound to consume will amount into a massive high that we will keep you going for days. It usually seems to work for bankers and lawyers.