Time For A Boycott!

Because everyone knows that a good boycott unites people and reminds them that they, the consumers, have the power to dictate which institutions live and which die.

So, this Hilary, what options do us eager boycotters have?

The Tab

Yeah right, like you could do that.

Essaycrisis

Again.

The Cherwell

Not sure how you can boycott something that just persistently turns up every now and then on the floor of the JCR.

Facebook

Imagine the headlines: All of Oxford switches to Google+. Definitely worth it.

Hair removal products

Recently a hot topic  . Imagine how great it would be if there were no razors or Veet wax strips for a 20 mile radius.

I am, however, hesitant to associate such an obviously patriarchal word with an important feminist issue.

Captain Girlcott

Mission Burrito

Perhaps you find the name of this Mexican style food outlet insults your evangelical relief aid work. Maybe this is the manifestation of a healthy new year’s resolution. Or you just want to squeeze them until they have the good sense to serve brown rice.

Whatever it is, Mission is looking like a strong candidate for some people’s boycotting needs.

Half price if you brand yourself!

The Turl Street Kitchen

A good alternative if you want a boycott some sort of restaurant but can’t live without guac.

Torpids

“Hey guys, lets go and watch torpids!”

“No! We can’t do that, we’re boycotting it.”

I have a friend who knew someone that watched to Torpids last year.

The Union

This one isn’t going to work so well because you freshers just forked out however many hundreds of pounds to become a member. You’re looking for a return on this ‘investment’ no matter how fuming you are that they haven’t got Russell Brand coming (I hear the man knows a thing or two about boycotting).

revolution through boycott

Lent

A time when some choose to admirably give up indulgences like alcohol or chocolate. However we will drown out their virtuosity with the glorious din of our boycotting.

Lectures

Did they already try this last term? Oh a strike is different? Did it work?

Nothing

Not that this means leaving behind the boycotting spirit. Try instead to boycott things which aren’t there, like ghosts, the monorail, or milkmen in hope that this will call the man’s attention to their necessity and usher in some CHANGE.