With the Union’s term-card still days away, The Tab has been offered exclusive access to Hilary’s line-up.

We’ve picked out the best of the bunch so you don’t have to (you may still have to).

Debate: This house believes nothing worth knowing can be taught

Thursday, 2nd Week: 8PM.

This one off debate sees the Oxford Revue pitting their substantial wits against the Footlights.  With interruptions from In the Pink, Out of the Blue and the Imps, this might actually be quite funny.  It’s in association with RAG and and all money raised goes to the Oxford Homeless Action Group. You vote with your wallet and not with your feet, so get your Florins ready.

Emile Sandé

Friday, 3rd Week: 8PM.

As if performing at both the Opening and Closing ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics wasn’t enough, Scottish singer-songwriter Sandé is coming to the Union.  Her album, Our Version of Events, was the best selling UK album of 2012, the same year she married a Montenegrin marine biologist. If that’s not enough, she may even belt out Next To Me…

F.W. De Clerk

Monday, 6th Week: 8PM.

The last apartheid-era South African President, De Clerk will be speaking on ‘The New South Africa after 20 years.”  He is widely acknowledged for his role in ending of state apartheid in South Africa and served as a Deputy President under Nelson Mandela. He’s going to take questions.

Jerry Springer

Thursday, 6th Week:  Midday.

Pretty much the first person to get poor people on stage to fight and somehow justify it, Springer is a modern day visionary. Without him we wouldn’t have Jeremy Kyle, Trisha Goddard – we probably wouldn’t even have Judge Judy.  But we do, and it’s all thanks to J.  A former Democratic Mayor of Cincinnati, he  – JERRY JERRY JERRY.

Atifete Jahjaga

Friday, 6th Week: 3PM.

Whilst hardly a household name outside of Pristina’s suburbs, Atifete Jahjaga is:  The first female President of Kosovo, the fourth President of Kosovo, the youngest head of state to be elected in the modern Balkans AND the highest ranking female general in Eastern Europe.  She’ll probably talk about nation building, Kosovo’s position in the world, women in politics and geopolitics.  Going to her talk would, on balance, be a good idea.

Kevin Rudd

Saturday, 6th Week: 6pm.

Kevin Rudd is a 2 time Prime Minister of Australia, most recently in 2013.  His second cabinet included a record number of women for an Australian government and he was the first Australian PM to publicly support same-sex marriage.  He apologised to Aboriginal Australians for the stolen generations and ensured Australia avoided recession in the late 2000s.

Steve Ballmer

Tuesday, 7th Week: 4PM

When Ballmer announced he was stepping down later this year,  Microsoft shares bounced on the news.  But don’t be fooled.  This guy once said of Bill Gates ‘Use him?  Yes.  Need him?  No.’  In his time as CEO he’s tripled the firm’s revenue and doubled their profits.  He joined Microsoft in 1980 as Bill’s 30th employee and was integral in Microsoft’s march to the top.  Worth $18billion, try and get a look in his wallet to see how he keeps it.

Larry Flynt

Date TBC.

You know how we mentioned porn in the excerpt?  Yeah, this is it.  But not how you imagine.  No, this isn’t Lisa Ann’s alter ego; this guy runs Larry Flynt enterprises, an adult entertainment conglomerate responsible for loads of videos, pictures and general nudity. He’s been listed as the #1 Most Powerful person in Porn, which is a pretty sizeable accolade.  Large awards aside, he’s paralysed from the waist down following an assassination attempt and has been married 5 times.