Opinion: Drawing A Line under Pembroke & Robin Thicke

There are very obviously many things I am not qualified to talk about when it comes to misogyny, as a guy. But I can observe what’s halting reasonableness and progress back.

Most people will be thoroughly tired of the continued banning of Robin Prick’s Blurred Lines, and of the Pembroke Rugby fiasco.

It is very dangerous for people to get exhausted of hearing about the fight against misogyny, against the rapey attitudes of some boys towards girls. These two fiascos have both threatened to do this.

Neither fiascos exhibit even close to the worst of gender inequality and misogyny experienced anywhere. And yet they’ve received some of the strongest and most damning responses possible given the public coverage they’ve received.

Neither tiresome fiascos were black and white.

The rugby e-mail revealed a culture of intimidation, alcoholic and sexual, that shouldn’t exist at any university. But the content of the email was taken out of context by most of the press, blown up and made scapegoats out of a few, who are by no means the worst culprits of Lad-ish misogyny.

And I don’t need to tell you again what’s wrong with the song, nor the counter-argument for freedom of speech and artistic expression.

Laura Bates of the Everyday Sexism Project

But every time people are reminded of another banning of the song, or of more outrage at the Pembroke students, they get sicker and sicker of the feminist and equality movement. They get sick of (strangely) hearing from the people who probably want the same thing as them.

It’s ludicrous to be ‘tired’ of fighting sexism, when you consider what sexism entails. Of course the people who do great work at Cuntry Living magazine, Misogyny Overheard and the Everyday Sexism Project won’t be tired of it.

But the movement requires the crucial, collaborative help of most other people, who are feminists but perhaps less actively so, and it is a very real danger they become tired of hearing about the cause, when over-the-top fiascos like the two above are the ones that get all the publicity.

Jackson Katz delivering an excellent TED Talk

Nearly everyone I know, male and female, is a feminist, is against misogyny and understands what is and isn’t acceptable concerning consent. And yet dangerous perceptions of people speaking within the feminist movement threaten its success.

One perception is when women find guys’ responses or input thoroughly patronizing. The other is when guys find feminists preachy and self-righteous.

Clearly a lot of the time feminists have every right to preach to the ignorant, and the perception of self-righteousness is very often misplaced. But the perceptions are real and often very strong, rightly or wrongly.

If they create internal division and resentment amongst the huge number of people from both sexes who all badly want to see an end to sexual violence, intimidation and all the other forms misogyny takes, then they’re the only thing stopping the equality movement.