Biochemistry Dept In Toilet Etiquette Storm

Students told not to stand on the toilet seats


Students have expressed anger and shame after a shocking poster appeared in Oxford’s Biochemistry Department.

The poster, which is currently in the male toilets, states that poor hygiene has plagued the loos in recent times and that it hopes to stop the rogue toilet behaviour by offering some handy tips.

It reads, “There have been some hygiene problems recently in these toilets. In some countries toilet etiquette is different. Please follow the guide below for the correct use of toilets in the UK.

It then goes on to explain some Dos and Donts of toilet use to the Oxford Biochemistry students.

The loo experts advise, “Toilets in the UK are designed to sit on. They are not designed for standing.

“In come countries the toilet system cannot accept toilet paper. However in the UK, all used toilet paper must be flushed down the toilet”.

Biochem Dept: A gleaming exterior with a dark secret.

Daniel Greenwood, a third year biochemist, spotted the poster.

He said, “I had just finished in the loos when I saw this. I was so upset, I had to go straight back in and cry”.

“The loos are always so clean; I didn’t know what to make of it. I feel vilified”.

Vilified Biochemist Daniel Greenwood rejects poo slur

Another student, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “To be honest, asking people to not shit all over the toilets is quite a reasonable request”.

The Biochemistry Department has yet to comment.