Boris turns down ‘Overheard at Oxford’ Administratorship

Coalition falls apart at the last minute, James Johnson left as sole winner of election


In an unforeseen turn of events, Mayor of London Boris Johnson has rejected the offer to be an administrator of the online forum, Overheard at Oxford University (OaOU).

The official statement from the Office of the Mayor cited “the Mayor receives a high number of requests, and is not able to fulfill them all.”

The announcement has left political commentators reeling, after all signs pointed towards Boris taking up the position.

“I don’t understand!” one senior political figure within the university said, “Admin of OaOU is the perfect stepping stone for Prime Minister! What on earth was possessing him to turn it down?!”

Realistically, it was probably for the best.

In an emergency press conference, Joe Miles, who held the election, expressed his disappointment at Boris’ decision: “Maybe we can see if Ken Livingstone is up to much at the moment.”

At James Johnson Campaign HQ, the news caused instantaneous celebrations.

The planned decorations for Johnson’s victory parade.

A clearly ecstatic James said to The Tab that he was “[looking] forward to this new chapter”, seeing as his “rise to power has been consolidated for good.”