Tan-tastic Fundraising
Eight Univ students go orange for Romania
Joseph SaxbyOn Tuesday morning 8 of Univ’s finest freshers got horrifically dark fake tans in order to raise money for the Life Foundation.
At the time of writing, almost £900 has been raised, with a naked calendar promised if £1000 is reached.
The future’s bright…
The event, described on Facebook as ‘Univ Gets Tango-ed’, explained how the group members were chosen from amongst the pastiest girls in Univ, and employed witty puns such as “ORANGE you glad you’re not us??”
Fritzl’s children had seen more sun than this specimen
It appears the event was originally conceived as a way to prevent one team member – Abi – from chatting continuously about orphans in Romania. Since the £500 barrier was smashed, she has been forced to cease her relentless drone about inane poverty-stricken eastern Europeans. Some in Univ have described this silence as the greatest aspect of the whole event.
The alluring profile picture
Emma Coombs, pictured above, was heard to say “So much of my identity is wrapped up with being pale so when it turned out I really liked the tan, I had a bit of a crisis”. She further added that when she updated her profile picture “the friend requests started flooding in”. The Tab notes that she has made two new Facebook friends recently.
Midas touch?
Sybil Devlin has agreed to re-tan herself for the illustrious Univ Ball in 9th week now that the £600 mark has been smashed, leaving some to wonder whether Jekyll and Hyde will benefit from a TOWIE twist.
Come rain or shine… This won’t wash off
Sophie Lucas, Historian, casually remarked, “I’ve actually just heard i’ve got an internship with Willy Wonka this summer! so pysched!”
No-one laughed.
Omg guys, Jacob Elordi is going to Oxford University in October to study English
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe fell in love with the campus while filming Saltburn
Oxford Uni lecturer stalked by man who flew 4,000 miles to her with a can of pepper spray
Emily SmithHe sent his bags to her office and wanted her to ‘be his Valentine’
Oxford Uni chaplain who compared sex offenders to ‘puppies needing training’ given welfare role
He asked one student assault victim if they were ‘aware of the effect they had on men’, but has now secured a post at another college
These are the subjects you need to study at Oxbridge to more than double your grad salary
In one subject, studying it at Oxbridge over any other uni will get you £47k more per year
Oxford University College offers students a Halal menu option but it includes… red wine
One student said she was ‘sadly not surprised’ at the mistake
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at The University of Oxford have successfully sued the uni
Emma Watson studies on Oxford’s creative writing course
So, people are rinsing Oxford students for dancing at a ball and it’s low-key really mean
A Ceilidh is a huge part of Scottish culture
Oxford University Vice-Chancellor with £232k salary says grads should be donating to their uni
Was my £9k a year not enough!
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at Oxford are suing the university for unfair dismissal
The lecturers also compared their situation to the Post Office scandal
Oxford uni called ‘patronising’ for job advice despite banning its students from working
Oxford’s policy on part-time jobs reads: ‘Term-time employment is not permitted except under exceptional circumstances’
Students from two Oxford colleges are throwing Saltburn themed parties this term
One of them is Felix and Oliver’s actual college from the film
Students at University of Oxford housed in four-star hotels due to a lack of accommodation
One of the hotels costs up to £150 a night and has an indoor pool and spa
A professor at the University of Oxford has told students to use ChatGPT for essays
The economics students were told AI ‘should help you produce a much better essay’
Oxford students forced to sleep in queues for over 24 hours to sign uni accommodation
‘It was absolutely freezing, I’m wearing three jumpers right now’
All the Oxford on campus filming locations where Emerald Fennell shot Saltburn
Harrison BrocklehurstStudents literally loaned their actual dorm rooms to the production team
BBC denies allegations of antisemitism on University Challenge due to octopus mascot and Palestinian flag colours
‘We utterly condemn the abuse that has been posted and shared’
Oxford student found escort waiting in their room booked by the university
The student found a ‘woman sitting on [their] bed in a lingerie robe’ in their hotel room
So, some Oxford Colleges actually have a chalet students can visit and it’s big Tory vibes
Rah Bartholomew are you coming to the College chalet this year?
Katie Hopkins is speaking at the Oxford Union this term and shock, no one wants her
She’s going to be debating… veganism?
Oxford College asks students to sleep on mattresses in shared rooms due to RAAC in halls
Not really the Oxford dark-academia dream you signed up for is it?
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
Francesca EkeI can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish
No ifs, no buts: These are the absolute WORST episodes of Black Mirror ever
Black Mirror episode idea: Me being forced to watch these on loop
Inside the wild transformations of the Buffy cast, from the first episode to now
Sarah Michelle Gellar my ageless queen!
What have raunchy lovebirds Ridge and Jade been up since MAFS Australia 2024?
Ellie RingNot him getting her name tattooed on his back
Everyone’s wondering if Baby Reindeer’s on stage breakdown was real, so here’s what happened
Phoebe KowhaiDonny opened up about the sexual assault he had experienced whilst performing stand up
One MAFS Australia 2024 groom who made it to final vows has already got a new girlfriend
And apparently they dated before the show?!
Man falsely accused of being Darrien from Baby Reindeer has launched police investigation
He has involved police due to ‘defamatory, abusive and threatening posts’ against him
‘I love the surprise’: Richard Gadd has spoken about why he chose THAT Baby Reindeer ending
‘It was the most truthful scene of the entire show’
Are Jono and Lauren still together after his MAFS Australia 2024 texting scandal?
It’s not looking good for the couple
Eden cashes in on MAFS Australia 2024 fame as she signs with influencer talent management
Lucinda has also joined the same management as Tahnee Cook
Forget Tinder, this note of a guy trying to pull on a Sheffield bench has everyone weeping
New pulling technique? Sorted
From Kerry Katona to Shakira: Inside Lucien Laviscount’s unexpected dating history
Suchismita GhoshShakira is a plot twist no one saw coming
Ben reveals he always suspected something ‘fishy’ was going on between Jono & Ellie on MAFS
‘I saw the way they looked at each other from the start’
Bronte speaks out against MAFS Australia and says show offers no support to the cast
‘During filming, I was distraught’
The cunning real reason why Tori decided to expose Jono’s texts on MAFS Australia 2024
She was apparently ‘elated’ when she found out
Richard Gadd asks Baby Reindeer fans to stop ‘speculating’ on who the real people could be
‘That’s not the point of our show’
Ella Ding dropped some brutal shade towards Jayden from MAFS Australia on Eden’s TikTok
Long live her Eynaud brothers vendetta!
Meeting at 19 to kids at 20, inside Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson’s age gap relationship
Lily ColdstreamMovies, music videos, and marriage