10 ways to schmooze in style
Don’t let those networking events go to waste.
Livi WilkinsonSo, you’re at an alumni event. You’ve introduced yourself to Potential Employer Number 1, now what?
Don’t let the conversation stall – we’re here to help, with our 10 best phrases to impress your olders and betters.
Get these beauties in, and that job at Deloitte will be yours.
It’s all about the schmoozing.
1. ‘So, you earn, what, 6 figures? And yet you still didn’t think it might be important to invest in toothpaste. Shame.’
2. ‘What’s your company’s attitude towards lunch hour porn?
3.‘I suppose you’ll be retiring soon? What’s that, you’re only 45? Are you sure about that? I mean, no offence, but you just have massive crow’s feet.’
4. ‘How easy is it to make personal purchases on the company expenses account? Suppose I wanted to take my friends out for dinner, for example?’
5.‘To be honest, I wasn’t really listening to what you’re saying. I’m just here for the free champagne.’
Champagne or shit chat? Tough one.
6.‘Ohhh my gawd, last night, I was on sooo much MDMA…’
7. ‘Tiene animales en casa?… Sorry, I thought you were my Spanish exchange for a second. He has really bad BO, too – I thought I’d never meet anyone who smelt that bad again. I was wrong.’
8.‘Your company’s lost its way slightly, hasn’t it? Are you personally wholly to blame for that or only mostly? How long do you give until it goes bankrupt?’
9.‘Are you married? You are? Well, take my number anyway.’
10. ‘You read Geography? You know that’s not a real subject, right?’
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