Clubber Steve, Mark 2 – the other side

We meet in Wetherspoon’s, a seemingly inauspicious location. But within five minutes an avid fan has already approached, slightly hysterical, proclaiming, ‘OMG you’re Clubber Steve!’.

We Tab girls (Livi, Becki and the lovely Siobhan) begin to feel slightly inadequate. Do we have what it takes to stay the course on a night out with Oxford’s most notorious clubber?

Becki and Siobhan consider stocking up on takeaway pizza to refuel

But our worries are soon allayed – Steve is LOVELY and not starry or diva-ish at all, despite his celebrity. Steve reminds us of his 10 golden rules of clubbing, and I realise we are in the hands of an expert – everything will be fine.

What I want to know though, is the real Steve. Not the Steve who keeps a spreadsheet of his nights out (he averages 3.7 a week) or who doesn’t need to pay entry (‘I could probably get into most clubs free but I feel bad for the club sometimes so I buy tickets’), but the Steve who leads an ordinary day-to-day life.

‘If the ice melts then so be it’ #livingontheedge

More on that later. We soon bump into some peeps from the OxStu, who tell us they’re having trouble recruiting writers – please do email us if you’re interested and we’ll pass you on.

We chatted BNOCs and business for a while, but they soon left, rushing home to write an article on their brief interaction with some real journalists. An epiphanic moment for them, I’m sure.

One big happy TabStu family? Not likely…

After being bored out of my mind for a while by the next Stephen Hawking’s bullshit hypotheses about how galaxies interact, it was back to Clubber Steve. We were all quite smitten, with Siobhan admitting, ‘I think he’s the one’, before heading to the loo, prompting Steve to enlighten us with a new, Tabsclusive rule no. 11: Don’t Break The Seal.

But we wanted to dig deeper.

Ever wondered what Steve’s dream date would be? ‘A trip to the beach, I’d buy her an ice cream or whatever she wants, we’d chill out and chat. We’d go for dinner, perhaps I’d take her clubbing…’

But what if Dream Girl doesn’t like clubbing? ‘I’d give it all up for her. You give things up for the one you love.’

Steve was not always the guru he is today, though. He had never set foot in a club before coming to Oxford two years ago (and aren’t we glad he did!) – the first time he went out, he took his birth certificate as his ID!

Don’t try this at Camera

Next, we saw Old Man Bridge. Unable to resist the chance of having these two nightlife icons at the same table, we lured him over. Result: I now have Oxford’s two biggest nightlifers’ numbers in my phonebook and can reveal to you that Old Man Bridge may well be ‘waterborne’ on May Day. He’ll be checking the water is at a safe level (2 to 5 feet) for everyone who’s jumping in.

Drinking in the midst of legends

We headed to Junction for the loss of my Brookes night virginity. Everyone recognised Steve, and the lovely manager gave us drinks coupons because Steve’s such a legend. Obviously, I’ll be reviewing his club positively.

Just to test Steve’s popularity (totally unquestionable), we gave him the challenge of seeing how many people would be willing to let him sign them. Everybody, it turns out.

Clubber Steve, surrounded by his fan club – things got pretty chaotic

The frenzy surrounding Steve continues to build as he signs one crazed fangirl’s hand

We had a brilliant night with Clubber Steve, dancing the night away until the very end and probably significantly worse for wear than the man himself.

As Steve would say, it’s really all about the company and we had the  very best.

Please don’t give up clubbing for a girl any time soon, Steve.

To see how Steve rated his night out with the Tab, go to his blog: http://clubbersteve.wordpress.com/