Mayday: one of the most important events on your social calendar, but your classy night has been soiled by Camera’s executive decision to turf over the downstairs dance floor.  Team your most glamorous evening wear with a pair of wellies or flip flops. You wouldn’t want your brand new KGs to get ruined. However, the state of your footwear will be inconsequential when at the end of the evening one of the Buller voms on your jacket in VIP and you go home crying.

The Bullingdon

You’ve ventured all the way to Cowley, so put away your tweed and bring out your K-swiss trainers. To really fit in, pair travelling memorabilia with vintage Levi shorts.

Whilst Mummy and Daddy paid for your gap year, they couldn’t stretch out and get you a new pair of tights for the occasion. You’ve therefore gone for the “poor” look whilst you snort a line of Oxfords most overpriced narcotics.

We know you must be confused that you’re going to Shark end on a Tuesday not Wednesday. So reduce your bewilderment by wearing exactly the same as you would on any other evening spent in Park End. If you’re worried people won’t know you’re on a sports team when you’re not wearing stash steal a boys blazer early on. Your barely- there outfit will be made much more “acceptable”- that is, until it is on the floor of a league players bedroom.

Models: Charlie Warwick and Christy Reynolds

Photographers: Megan Kemp and Helen Spooner