A rundown of every ick about life in Notts you’ll experience before you graduate

If you’re thinking about sending that drunk message to your fit course mate at 3am, don’t

If you’re new to uni this year, you might have experienced a bit of a culture shock when it comes to the dating life. It suddenly becomes painfully obvious which people have never felt the touch of another person in their life, because they simply do not know how to act and not give you the most violent ick you’ll ever experience.

Each city is special in it’s own way and Notts is no exception. From the infamous wind scooters to drunk and disordly behaviour over text, these are all the reasons why you might experience a physical shudder of cringe thanks to another Notts student:

Asking questions on the course group chats

Okay, I know asking questions is kind of the whole point of course chats but it just gives me so much second-hand embarrassment seeing people doing it – especially if it’s something that’s already been asked about 17 times in the last day.

Even worse than just innocently asking a question is when you get aired – imagine going back to someone’s house and you see that fateful empty  blue triangle next to the “Economics UoN” chat? Absolutely not.

Drinking Hooch

There’s just something about hearing someone order a Hooch that is just so nauseating. It’s such a grim drink, and especially if you’re at a club – why are you ordering a 4% drink on a night out? Hearing someone yell at the bartender: “Can I get a Hooch?” is like the beverage equivalent of asking for a yum yum at Greggs.

Why on earth you’d order a Hooch over a vodka coke is beyond me.

Wind scooters

Ahhh, Nottingham’s infamous yellow scooters. Very cost- and energy- efficient, and granted, they are a much more entertaining way of getting about than the tram, but every time I see someone on one of them riding through campus or down Derby Road, it just fills me with ick.

Imagine your sneaky link gets a Wind scooter across campus to your halls? I honestly don’t think I’d let them in.

Playing rugby

Maybe a bit controversial, considering if you ask any given girl at UoN what her type is she’ll probably say rugby boys, but if you really think about it, they are some of the ickiest people at Nottingham. As soon as that guy you’re talking to in the club calls himself a rugby lad, you just know he’s going to be such a manwhore there’s not much point even going there.

Getting lost in the Trent Building

Another ick most UoN students are probably guilty of is getting lost in the university’s most recognisable and beautiful buildings.

While the outside deceives you into thinking the whole thing is going to be a beautiful light academia experience, the reality is that as soon as you step into those double doors, you enter into a labyrinth of strip lighting and old carpets, with no sign of an exit. Regardless of the fact that most of us have been there, when someone else does it, it’s a huge ick.

Living anywhere other than Lenton

The age-old Tinder question: “So whereabouts are you living? x”. As much as it is a very predictable question that you end up having to ask as you run out of small talk ideas, the answer says a lot about a person. Anyone who says they live in Beeston or Dunkirk was most likely just too disorganized in first year to find a house in Lenton like everyone else, and you just don’t need that energy in your life.

Drunk texting the uni group chat

Yes, another one about uni group chats, but I just feel like there’s a certain code of conduct for any group chat that isn’t one just for friends, and not drunk texting is one of them.

At the time, of course it seems hilarious to send your accommodation group chat of 200+ people a mukbang of your post-Pryzm Food Factory delicacies, but you and I both know it will be getting swiftly deleted in the morning when you realise no one replied and you got left on read by all 200 people. Sorry x

Tripping up the steps in Monica Partridge

When you’re running late to a seminar on the top floor you’ll inevitably be witnessed by a group of people in the green booths on B floor, then having to tell yourself it really wasn’t that embarrassing when it really was.

Unfortunately for all the clumsy UoN students out there, the layout of the steps that go up through the centre of the building, literally everyone has a view to to your classy trip. Bonus ick for calling the building Monica Partridge and not T&L.

Bulk buying club tickets purely to upsell them on UniSalad

Listen, we love and appreciate UniSalad just as much as you do. Plans change once you’ve already bought a ticket, so it is truly a blessing when people use it properly and actually sell their tickets for the price they bought them.

However, if I find out you’re one of those people who sits by their laptop with baited breath waiting for Crisis tickets to be released, just so you can buy ten and then sell them each for £25 each on UniSalad, you will get blocked on everything and reported on UniSalad.

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