A guide to surviving university in Nottingham as an introvert

Maybe online lectures weren’t so bad

1 year ago

University is always said to be the best years of your life, a journey of self-discovery and learning. However, for the introverts out there among us, the idea of moving to a new place with thousands of people you’ve never met is anything but fun. Even those of us who have made it past freshers can find going into lectures and socials daunting, no matter how many times we do it.

Having been an introvert all my life, I can empathise with those of you longing for the return of online lectures in pyjamas and 10pm bedtimes. But, I successfully navigated the social minefield of first year and actually ended up with friends and a social life. Nowadays I make corporate small talk on placement on a daily basis and I am ready and willing to pass on my pearls of wisdom to my fellow introverts.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to

Before I start giving advice about how to survive uni, I think it’s very important to note that you absolutely do not have to do anything you don’t want to.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll worry people will think you’re boring if you say you don’t want to go out, whether it’s is to go clubbing or just to the library. It’s easy to feel like you’ll disappoint your friends if you say no, but sometimes you just have to.

I’ve had my fair share of people saying I “never go out anywhere” and while it may be alien to them, I do actually enjoy my own company, which is completely okay. Some people love to go out multiple times a week but some are equally happy to stay home and there is no shame in that. Anyone who makes you feel bad about it isn’t worth your time.

Even corporate girlies are introverts

If you’re forced into it, make the most of it

Sometimes in life, socialising is unavoidable. I know that strikes fear into the hearts of any introvert reading this, but it’s true. First year is quite literally designed for you to talk to as many people as possible, evidenced by the number of dreaded group projects. While you may be able to miss all the halls socials, nights out, and societies, you can’t avoid doing the degree you pay nine grand a year for.

I’m a big believer in two birds one stone, and if you’re already being forced into talking to these people, it might be worth making friends, or at least acquaintances, with them.

One of the benefits of group projects – of which there are very few – is that you get a mix of people, so most of the time you don’t have to lead the conversation if you don’t want to. But get involved; at least you’ll have someone to ask which room your next lecture is in.

Think long term

Uni is incredibly difficult if you don’t have your friends as a support system. While university holds some of the best memories it can also be difficult and feel lonely, and I don’t think I would have been able to get this far without my friends. If had I not spoken to them on the second day we moved in, my uni experience would have been very different.

The only way to make friends is to speak to people, so push yourself to do it no matter how awkward you may feel.

If you’re moving away from home for the first time, this point is even more important. Unless you’re superhuman, there will be a day in the next few years when you’re on the verge of tears and it’s at times like that when you need a friend. As Winnie the Pooh once said, “A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey inside”.

The power of headphones

Now I’ve written the cringe bit and turned off my sad girl playlist, it’s time for some practical advice: Headphones are magical. I’m telling you all, they are an introvert’s dream.

While I have told you to push yourself and get out there, sometimes it can all get a bit much and that’s when you put your headphones in. If you’re on campus, no one will speak to you if you have headphones in, even if there’s nothing playing in them. Equally, if you’ve recharged your social battery and are ready to be a people person again, the ball is in your court. Or should I say the headphones are in your ears?

Please don’t sit with me

There’s always the opportunity to socialise

Some nights I’m ready to be a social butterfly and some nights I’m in my pyjamas watching The Office. The beauty of uni is there is always the opportunity to meet people, which can range from just being in your lectures to attending a society social to having dinner in catered halls. Take a friend as emotional support and then at least you know there’s someone there for you even if you can’t face speaking to anyone new.

The more you start forcing yourself to talk to people and groups, the easier it becomes – you just have to push yourself to start the first conversation.

Winding down

My final piece of advice to my fellow introverts: You always need a way to calm yourself down. A lot of the time, after a heavy night of being social, I can feel completely drained and like I want to curl up into a ball and never speak to anyone ever again.

Social battery is a real thing and it’s so important to find a way to wind down. For me it’s music – there’s nothing like an acoustic cover to relax to.

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At the end of the day, you are who you are and if you want to completely ignore my advice, I’m okay with that.

I know how easy it is for people to say things like “just go talk to them, it’s fine”, when to you it feels like the worst thing in the world. But if you’re hoping to become more social, I promise it’ll become easier the more you force yourself to do it.