Revealed: Here’s why Notts students are always behind on their work

George Green is always full of studying students. Every week, notebooks are sprawled out on desks across campus, many with detailed, colour co-ordinated notes. Headphones are in, pre-recorded lectures switched on.

Yet, as the deadlines creep closer, time and time again, we all find ourselves panicking towards the very last moment and contemplating the idea of getting an EC. Eventually, you blast out an essay the night before, with a coffee in hand, despite having had weeks to prepare.

So, why are Notts students always so far behind on their work? Here’s what our very serious investigation found out:

Distracted by the pub

A very common answer from students – especially during the summer months – is that they simply tripped and fell into the pub. Honestly, with so many good local ones to choose from, who can blame them? Why work when a cheeky trip to Sheaves is on the cards.

A rat ate their coursework

In all fairness, it’s hard to stay on top of coursework when you’re constantly having to start again because it keeps getting eaten by the rats that swarm our bins.

Simply too hungover

Another very common thing hindering Notts students’ work is that they are often simply too hungover to stay caught up.

Can you truly say you’ve been a Notts student if you haven’t binned off some work in favour of staying in bed and nursing that hangover for at least another hour?

Coursework stolen by geese

We’re all aware of the menacing nature of the geese. So when they mob you, what else can you do but hand over your coursework and run?

Not only do you have to start over once you’ve surrendered your hard work to the geese, but you also have to try and recover from such a traumatic event.

Got lost in the Trent Building

It’s hard to keep up to date with your seminars and lectures when you’re unable to locate them. I’ve personally lost hours walking around the Trent building in search of a seminar, it’s basically a maze. Where eveb is B76?

Distracted by the rabbits on campus

Who can blame you? They’re absolutely adorable, and we only have a limited amount of time before the myxomatosis sets in and kills them off (rip). Enjoy them while you can! Even if that is at the expense of your deadlines.

Too busy chatting in George Green

Ah yes, let’s go “work” for a day in the library. We all know what this really means. Ten hours and three Starbucks coffees later, approximately three words have been written. A successful day of work.

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