From campus royalty to royally screwed: This is what your UoN hall says about you

What hall you are in during first year is kind of like a hierarchy. If you are in Hugh Stu or Cripps, you know you’ve made it in life and if you end up in Beeston or Rutland, all I can say is: I’m sorry.

It’s so important to pick the right first year accommodation as it has the potential to make or break your uni experience. If you end up living with people you don’t get on with it’s not fun and makes your first year at university a misery. On the other hand, if you meet people you really vibe with in your hall then life’s a joy and you never want to go home.

What is for certain is that every hall attracts a certain type of people, so to make sure you don’t end up with people who aren’t going to get along with this list of awful stereotypes might help make the decision easier. Here is your definitive list of what your hall on campus says about you.

Hugh Stewart

Starting off with the royalty that is Hugh Stu, or as I called it for all of first year, Stu Hugh, oops. You already know if you lived here in first year, everyone else at UoN wants to be you, you really are campus royalty – and you know that. Apparently theres a great atmosphere in Hugh Stu, although I have heard that your JCR is a bit embarrassing.

If you’ve ended up in Hugh Stu for first year, you are most definitely a reject from another uni such as Exeter or St Andrews and are most certainly from somewhere posh down South. You also probably took advice from older friends or family members at the uni who told you to try and live in Hugh Stu.

Lincoln

Lincoln was recently changed to being the ‘quiet’ hall for students that don’t like going out but I’ve heard that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Apparently most of Lincoln is actually a party hub, rebelling against being dubbed ‘quiet’.

I have also heard rumours that people from other halls are moved to Lincoln for disciplinary action if they’re too loud in their halls or get complaints against them, although I can’t confirm that and I don’t know how true it is. If you’re from Lincoln, I would have originally assumed that you were quiet and didn’t like going out but I now assume that you guys are really the anti-quiet’s, doing anything you can to prove that you don’t live in a quiet hall.

Cripps

Ranked second, after Nightingale, for the best student accommodations on campus on The Student Crowd, it is clear that living in Cripps is almost as great as Hugh Stu, with great views of the beautiful campus and decent sized rooms.

I hear that the only down side is that people are constantly talking about their upcoming skiing trips and apparently some of the boys are prone to playing with fire extinguishers and setting alarms off, but then again this could happen anywhere.

If you were in Cripps, chances are you come from Surrey and can’t be seen leaving your room without a North Face or a Ralph Lauren quarter-zip. I’m not sure about anyone else but I feel like whenever I spoke to a random course mate whilst waiting for a lecture, they always seem to be in Cripps or going to a party in Cripps, must be nice to be part of the elite.

Lenton and Wortley

Lenton and Wortley is never really spoken about and I have never met anyone from there that I didn’t already know before I went to uni so I would assume if you live in Lenton and Wortley, that you are extremely quiet and like to stick to yourself, I have never heard anyone saying, ‘I’m off to Lenton and Wortley’. Do you guys really exist or is the building just a cover up?

Ancaster

Double beds and en-suites in this entire hall, Ancaster screams London and daddy’s money. If you don’t live within the M25 and live in Ancaster, I’m sorry to say that I don’t think you’ll fit in. The only issue with this luxurious hall is that it couldn’t possibly be in a worse location if it tried. If you live in Manky Ancky, I assume that you spend every Wednesday night at crisis and every Friday at Ocean buying everyone VK’s all night with your weekly allowance.

Cavendish

If you live in Cav, I assume that you relish in the fact that you have access to panini’s all day and constantly brag to your friends about that. You probably take a humanities subject and were organised and smart enough when choosing accommodation that you chose to live near your course buildings – good thinking.

Nightingale

If you are in Nightingale, I would assume that you knew what you were doing when choosing accom as this is clearly one of the best. I assume that you love working in Monny P, because when I lived there I always seemed to see people from Nightingale.

As Nightingale is in the sports zone, it is fair to assume that a lot of you are budding athletes who like the idea of living in an old hotel. The only downside to living in the sports zone is that, in my case, the fire alarms loved to be pulled at all times of the night. I’d have to assume that some of our sportsmen in Nightingale were secretly budding firemen in the making with how many times it went off in the year I lived there.

Beeston

If you live in Beeston, you definitely did not choose to live there. You either applied to accommodation late and chose the Sports Zone or you came to Notts through clearing and were placed in Beeston as there was nothing else left.

I assume that if you got put into Beeston you wanted sports zone so lets be honest you are probably a disorganised rugby player who didn’t apply for accommodation on time – why does everyone in Beeston feel the need to punch holes in the wall, is it a Rugby thing?

Rutland and Sherwood

I have placed Sherwood and Rutland together because lets be honest the only difference between the two halls is that Rutland is unfortunate enough to share their dining hall with the unlucky sods in Beeston, and it seems that both Rutland and Sherwood attract the same type of people.

There are no defining features in these 1960s halls and I think it is fair to assume that if you live in Rutland or Sherwood, you come from the Midlands. I don’t know why but I think everyone I have ever met from Rutland or Sherwood comes from Derby or Leicester. Why do these halls attract Midlanders? If you live in these halls, be ready to be calling Rutland ‘dutty-rutty’ and throwing some pretty great courtyard parties or hosting a BBQ on the Down’s in the summer.

Derby

If you’re from Derby Hall, all you talk about is Echo. You have no other discernible personality other than you really love eating the Burgers and never stop flexing that you don’t have to walk far for a good lunch.

Raleigh Park

If you live in Raleigh Park, I assume you do business, Computer Science or education and therefore chose to live near Jubilee, if you don’t do those subjects and aren’t based on Jubilee, I assume you chose Raleigh because you wanted to be near Lidl or Subway, no judgment there – I think I would do the same.

Broadgate Park

If you live in Broadgate you like to think you are living in the best accommodation by being the closest self-catered accom to main campus. You spend half your life walking to and from the big Tesco in Beeston and get scammed by spending double what you would in Lidl. Come on, it’s only an extra five minute walk, you can do it.

If you live in Broadgate then you spend most of your time with your flat mates and no one else, fine if you are close with them but awful if you’re not.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Eight things you only know if you ever lived in Cavendish Hall

• Living in Radford isn’t so bad and here are seven facts to prove it

• If the characters from Euphoria went to Notts these are the halls they would be in