These 11 things are guaranteed to happen on every Notts night out

After a few years clubbing in Nottingham as a student, you become pretty accustomed to the things that seem to occur every single time you go out: from the classic card games you get roped into at pres, to the same fast-food-fix you fall into at the end of the night. Nights out in Notts just don’t change.

But they never get old, either, and we are so glad to have them back after a long year and a half.

So here are 11 things which are almost guaranteed to happen on every night out in Notts:

You will play Ring of Fire

Firstly, Ring of Fire will be played at pres. It just will.

Unless you’ve been playing it since you were eighteen at A-Level house parties, you’ll need to learn the rules. On top of that, try and think of some inventive rules to say when you draw a jack that aren’t ‘no swearing’ or ‘no first names’ – for your and your flatmates’ sake.

Still in third year, it gets played with the cards we were given in our freshers’ welcome boxes, a little worse for wear and curled up at the edges, but they do the job!

So, learn to love it, because its not going anywhere. Besides, its a firm favourite to get everyone drunk enough to ensure the club’s music is bearable.

If you go out for pres, you’ll end up at a Spoons

If you’d rather pre outside the comfort of campus or the Lenton triangle, you’ll probably risk one of the holy-trinity Notts’ Spoons. The Joseph Else is usually packed so you try Lloyds, hoping they’ll have room for the eight of you that need seating at nine on a Friday night (clever).

If not, to the dimly lit, trusty Roebuck you go. If you manage to make it through one of their doors, you’ll be faced with the Nottingham locals, who in fact will play a rather disturbing part in any night out you endeavour at the weekend.

Spoons, however, is always a sound choice to get you drunk, out and about for cheap. But remember – pitchers, although taste nice, are never worth it.

Even if you’re not going to Crisis, someone will still mention Crisis

Whether they’re comparing it to Crisis, or just saying they miss Crisis, they simply will find a way to say Crisis.

We get it, you play a sport.

You will have bought your ticket literally two weeks in advance

Oh, the rush of the ticket release. The frantic clicking to refresh and the stress of scrambling for your debit card to get your details in before you lose your cart. Truly unforgettable.

You’ve been mentally preparing for this night for weeks, given that you bought the ticket basically a month ago.

If you didn’t manage to snatch a ticket from UniSalad last minute, you’ll be queuing forever x

Hopefully you’ve not been ripped off for your ticket on UniSalad and avoided those painfully early entry times (although, pre-ing at 7:30 has its perks of conveniently avoiding working on that deadline that’s due tomorrow).

Didn’t manage to nab a ticket? Good luck.

If the queue is longer than twenty minutes or so, then beware – there will be a designated piss wall or corner… Being at uni makes you realise girls can hold on to it much better than most boys can.

If it’s a Wednesday, you’ll see fully grown men dressed up as babies

Once you’re eventually through the doors and manage to buy yourself a drink, you’re bound to notice the weird and wonderful around you. Twenty-year-old boys dressed as babies in nappies, copious amounts of playboy bunnies and shit shirts are the most probable candidates to meet the eye, especially on a Wednesday night in Rock City or Ocean.

Or sports boys in their ties

The sports boys on the side lines in chinos and their pints of Carlsberg will almost definitely be scanning the dancefloor for impressionable freshers.

You’ll tell a stranger to break up with her boyfriend or step in a questionable puddle in the toilet

If you manage to get through til 3am without losing a friend, reassuring a crying girl in the toilets that her ex isn’t shit, or falling victim to the overflowing urinals in the gents, well done you.

You said you hate cheese, but by 2AM you can’t help yourself from screaming along anyway

In Pryzm, you’ll bounce between the main room and the somewhat startling dancing in Curve. But by the early hours of the morning, you’ll have been allured to the disco dancefloor of Vinyl, where the DJ is dressed as a slice of cheese – indicative of the music selection down there. The rooms all have their individual charm and enticements for different stages of the night.

Meanwhile, over in Rock City, Mr Brightside comes on. Need I say more?

The all important question: Maccies or Taco Bell?

Now it’s time to leave and you have the debate of where to eat. Maccies seems the obvious choice although there’s usually a few stragglers willing to splash the cash in Taco Bell next door to avoid the queue.

Or maybe you’re a Mega Munch or Trent Kebabs kind of person. Nothing quite beats a proper kebab shop after a night out to soak up some of tomorrow’s hangover. These won’t let (drunk) you down.

Then you cringe at everything you did the next morning…before doing it all again tomorrow

It’s all rounded up in the morning – trawling through the snapchat stories, cringing at your voice evidently enjoying Olivia Rodrigo a little too much, awaiting the flat gossip and filling in the gaps of the night before.

Whatever the damage, we’ll be ready to do it all over again the day after tomorrow, and the same again for the next one, two, three, four years and beyond, I’m sure.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Attention freshers: Here’s a definitive guide to all the classic Notts clubs

• Forget the alphabet, here is the Notts A-Z that every student should know

• 10 ways to say you go to UoN without actually saying you go to UoN