What your Halloween costume says about you

It’s that time of year again, and with Halloween just around the corner and lockdown in full swing, dressing up and pretending 2020 can be rescued is all that’s on anyone’s agenda. Whether you plan to cover yourself in fake blood, organise a group outfit with your best pals or run around Lenton half naked, there’s a stereotype surrounding every one of you.

Group outfits

Because it’s all about safety in numbers, right? According to Instagram you’re all living your best lives and plan to wing-women the night away. But when it comes to it, two of the girls aren’t speaking because they both wanted to be Baby Spice and another member of the group has dropped out last minute to be a devil.

Playboy Bunny

Either you’re in the cheerleading squad or you’ve just come out of a breakup – either way your arse is out, and your ears can be seen hopping from boy to boy on the rugby balcony. Kudos to you for making the most of one night.

The ‘couples’ outfit

If there is one way to claim your partner, then this is it. You’ve dyed your boyfriend’s hair green so you can live out your dream of dressing as Harley Quinn for one evening. You look great but everyone knows you and your ‘S.O’ will be fighting by midnight because he looked at a passing group of playboy bunnies.

#bae #donttouch #allmine #twomonthsandcounting

The cat

If you’re dressed as a sexy cat, this is unlikely to be your first rodeo. Chances are this is your fourth consecutive year in the same costume. You’ll squeeze into your year 9 hot-pants and trusty feline ears- a perfect balance between blending in and wearing something a little bit risqué.

The ‘Stick contact lenses in and pray for the best’

Likelihood is you’ve been walking round the Intu centre since 9AM in search for something remotely halloweeny and through sheer lack of time you find yourself queuing for the dodgy contact lense store by the car park. At £15 a pack you and your bestie settle for one zombie eye each and proceed to spend the next three hours sticking your fingers in each other’s eyes. Delightful.

The Superhero

There’s always some lad who discovered roids 12 months ago and sees Halloween as an excuse to get his sculpted bod out- and what better way to woo the ladies than as the Hulk? Typically seen moving in a pack and downing VKs like any other Wednesday night, these guys play rugby and end the evening being dragged out by a Crisis bouncer. Can’t fault the commitment to the Hulks tendency to start a fight tho.

Sexy *insert anything here*

Whether it’s a solider, nurse, policewoman or pumpkin, I am 100 per cent here for the slutty Halloween costume. In the wise words of Mean Girls, if there is one day you can get your tits out, then this is it. Usually an all-girls house, you’re doing it purely for the Insta –  and if you don’t manage to get a good photo those costly outfits will have been for nothing.

The white tee and fake blood look

Likely to be the guys of the group who started pre-drinks hours ago. You let your fate rest in the hands of the artsy house member who convinces you purple eyeshadow and buckets of fake blood will make you look great. You end up looking like a sunburnt wreck, but hey, you’re pretty innocent and don’t really care about Halloween – purely there for the sesh and late night maccies.

Morph suit

All that is to be said about this outfit is that you must rate yourself. Let’s hope it isn’t too cold – for your manhood’s sake.

The ‘It’s still too soon’ outfit

The controversial Halloween outfit is reserved for the lad that lives for banter. Your intentions were questionable, and so was your execution. Dressing as Jimmy Saville seemed like a hilarious idea until you make it to Notts buy and sell page for all the wrong reasons. Come November, you’ll realise the 1/5 of people that found your costume entertaining are now posting it on Facebook. Good luck explaining that one in your grad interview.

Whatever you go as this Halloween, flaunt your alter ego, strip down to your undies and live like it’s not 2020.