Here are the weirdest reasons why bouncers have kicked us out of Notts clubs
Some of these are just plain stupid.
We've all had our fair share of messy club nights but some of us have had it far worse than others. The Nottingham bouncers have seen it all: projectile vomit, parkour, urination.
So we asked you for the weirdest reasons why you or your mates have been kicked out of clubs in Nottingham, and this is what you said:
"I opened the emergency exit in Pom Pom thinking it was the bathroom entrance"
Honestly, I don't blame you – I head straight for the exit as soon as my toe crosses the Pom Pom entrance.
"I fell asleep on the bouncer in Crisis and woke up outside sleeping in a bin"
In the trash, where your drunken self belongs x
"My mate stole a soap dispenser and took it to main room to clean the dance floor"
They probably cleaned the dance floor better than their own Lenton kitchen floor.
"My mate approached a girl in Pryzm, got headbutted by the girl's boyfriend so got kicked out"
There's overprotective and then there's that.
"I breathed into the bouncer's walkie talkie because I thought it was a breathalyser"
We've even got footage of it on our 'Night Out Notts' insta highlights.
"My mate kegged a bouncer"
Some people have way too much confidence when they're drunk.
"Starting pissing in the middle of Black Cherry Lounge"
"I threw a till off the counter"
Bet that damage is coming straight out of your pocket.
"Had a klepto competition and got caught with a soap dispenser down the jeans"
I have so many questions.
"My mate got kicked out and banned from Chunky Chicken for having sex in the toilets"
Everything about this is vile.
"Got banned from Pryzm for scrapping the manager on the floor"
I'm getting serious Jay from The Inbetweeners vibes with this one.
"I used the men's toilets when the queue for the women's was too long"
Were you not expecting anyone to notice?
"My mate went up to a bouncer at Stealth and kept patting him on the head"
I'm sure he really appreciated that.
"Did a backflip on Pryzm main stage"
Please, just simmer down.
"My mate got caught flipping off a bouncer behind his back by another bouncer…oops"
"Hardcore parkour in Vinyl"
By "hardcore parkour" do you mean tripping over your own feet and passing out?
"Lobbying a six inch subway across the dance floor"
How did you even get a sub into the club in the first place?
"Breaking an air conditioner unit while dancing on top of the bar"
Your student loan is screaming at you for this fine.
"My mate threw up on a bouncer at Crisis"
Bit of a sticky situation if you ask me.
"I got kicked out because my own mate knocked me out"
Great friends you've got there.
"Somehow they saw my sliders"
You say "somehow" like you were fully expecting to blend in.
"My mate got banned from Pryzm for jumping over a closed bar and stealing Southern Comfort"
All that just for Southern Comfort, really?
"Did a front roll outside of the girls' toilet in Crisis"
Yes, we get it, you're on the cheer team.
"Guy offered to buy us both a drink and ran off when his card got declined. I ended up getting kicked out when I told the bar tender I couldn't afford to pay for both and only wanted one"
Trying to finesse with very little finesse