Every place to cry and panic this exam season in Nottingham

I'm still dealing with the psychological trauma that was a result of last exam season but behold, Uni of are back at it again, enforcing tears, trauma and death. Welcome to Exam Season S/S 2018 edition.

I know all you students are far too busy banging out a whole paragraph in 8 hours in Hallward, so I am here to provide you with a definitive list of the best places to cry on campus. Hopefully this will help provide you with some privacy and protection away from the judgemental eyes of freshers who just don't understand the struggle.

'What do you think of exams?'

Hallward

Whilst not particuarly soundproof due to squashing together of thousands of students in one place, Hallward provides the perfect haven to shed some sorrows. The nice all-encompassing lil booths on the upper levels, allow you the much needed privacy to cry whilst to everyone else it just looks like you're crouching over your non-existent flash cards. It's like Hallward designed the booths specifically for your emotional meltdowns 3-5 times a day. So thoughtful x

David Ross gym

If procrastination is your game, get yo butt to the gym. Whilst to your mates it appears you're living a balanced life of slaying your revision (imagine that lol) because you have time to bang out a sweaty gym session, in reality the gym is a certified winner for a place to cry. Many other students will similarly be using it as a procrastination station, so whilst you run away from your problems on the treadmill (both metaphorically and literally) you can get a sweat on and shed a tear or two at the same time. Nobody will batter an eyelid because your tears are masked by your hyperventilating and sweat pouring down your face. Attractive.

Crisis

Where better a place to have an emotional crisis than crisis? Whilst guaranteed to be packed out regardless of a 9am exam, crisis provides the perfect non-existent lighting to 1) hide your tears but also 2) you can pretend your crying over the love of your life who was off with another girl, instead of your failing revision and consequently, failing liver. It's a win-win really and you can comfort yourself with a maccies afterwards.

Better to drown your sorrows, than drown in them.

Student Advice Centre

Now updated and renovated, Student Advice centre is now more airy with natural lighting. This is problematic when it comes to wandering in after your all-nighter in Hallward to drop off the 3000 word drop-out note/ essay, because it is no longer as easy to cry in the corner of Cherry Tree lodge and cry. However, if you smile whilst crying your eyes out, people will think your tears are tears of joy, rather than those of realization that you're going to be homeless once your parents find out your grades.

Lenton and Wortley

Officially known as the saddest hall on campus, where else would you want to go in order to wallow in self-pity? You can sit in Hops, drowning your sorrows in houmous and pitta bread, whilst pretending it's all going to be okay. Also, as a second, third, fourth or fifth year (respect for the perserverance pal), you can forget your worries and pretend you have the concerns of a first year, literally nothing because nothing counts.

We miss first year

Home sweet home

Whether that be your country estate in Hertfordshire or your damp-ridden student house in Lenton, nowhere is better to cry than in your bed. Lock your door, crawl into your covers and cry your eyes out like the 20-something year old you are. Nobody needs to know.

East Midlands Airport

If abandoning your degree and fleeing the country hasn't crossed your mind at least 3 times today, are you really doing a degree? I ask myself at least 4 times a day if I really need a degree. It's so much better to be crying on a plane half away cross the world than in Lenton anyways. Plus you'll be tan with cocktail in hand, when pretending your problems don't exist, the perfect combination.

Good luck in the meantime team, you can do it. Go as hard on the exams, as you would your liver on a wednesday and you'll be fine.