Everything I’ve learnt in my second term at Nottingham

*Round of Applause to me for surviving this far*

They say you learn something new every day, and this certainly extends to University. Although I’m talking more socially,  because does anyone actually learn anything from lecturers? Apart from the fact that powerpoints are ridiculously overpriced.

I certainly learnt a hella lot in my first term, but I feel like my knowledge of all things University has broadened even more this term. I would like to enlighten you, my reader, to this new outlook on life that I have acquired.

A visual representation of my thoughts on my grades this term.

First things first, I’ve learnt that you can almost ruin your life and luckily nobody will moan at you for it!

At school, I would get shouted at  for the tiniest issue, such as being 3 seconds late to class, (YES I GOT MARKED LATE FOR BEING 3 SECONDS LATE ONCE). However, at University, you’re expected to be a responsible adult (let’s all laugh together) and therefore nobody checks if you have revised, completed the reading or done the work.

This is both a blessing and a curse. But when you’ve spent £70 on books for the semester, not read one of them and your most visited website is Sparknotes, even I begin to worry about myself. It becomes a challenge to casually mention to your mum that you are yet to finish a book this term , let alone the fact that you went clubbing the night before your final exam. Think I’ve got the second semester slump sorted. RIP me.

Maybe 9AM lectures are my kryptonite?

Students= Adults on energy saving mode

Prior to University and Year 13, I was not lazy whatsoever, my mother would not LET me be. Admittedly, laziness became a more prominent feature of my personality during A levels, however nowadays I’m lazy and nothing else. I have slept through my alarm every day this week and I haven’t even been out…

Clearly I have competition for the laziest person in our block…

If I had to describe myself in 3 words, it would be lazy and that’s it because I’m too lazy to even think of any other words.

What your Roommate doesn’t know, won’t hurt her. 

My shampoo and conditioner ran out about 3 weeks ago, but the bottles remain in my bathroom. My roommate lovingly keeps hers in the bathroom too, so hey, why buy more? It’s not like she can see how much is in each bottle, I mean what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her right…

Smiling because our hair smells the same and she hasn’t clocked yet

You will spend all second term loosing your first term weight.

Freshers 15 is a REAL thing. Fear it. Living in catered halls, when that one edible meal comes around every 2 weeks or so, you pile that plate HIGH, higher than your happiness levels. On  7/7 days when the food isn’t great, I normally just fill up on orange juice and bread. Yes I’m living a balanced lifestyle, can you tell?

Another fulfilling meal #CarbeDiem

Alternatively, we violate Domino’s website every Tuesday, or any day really since we are living that STUDFREE lyfe. I’m pretty sure at this point in the year, Domino’s cheer every time they see an order under my name because it means I’m dropping that overdraft dollar again.  Which might be why I accidentally made the wrong type of Gainz.

If you have pineapple on your pizza, we can’t be friends.

Your alcohol tolerance is more confusing than the opposite gender.

Coming back to university with January exams meant that the words ‘going out’ were uttered in hushed whispers and only spoken once the most conscientious had gone to sleep. There was the unspoken rule that you MUST not go out, we MUST revise, we MUST do this.

*Not you architects, you go out, have fun whilst the rest of us drown in our tears and flashcards.*

Therefore, for a solid two weeks, barely anybody went out due to revision, so when term properly begun we could finally go out again. However, one sip of your usual go to (vodka lemonade) and suddenly the tacticals are looking more and more likely.

But nearing the end of term and sure enough tolerance has rocketed and it’s becoming more and more expensive to embarrass yourself with your Dad dancing.

University is exploiting you.

Exams, yet again are looming and the dreaded Easter holidays with it’s promise of a month of guilt tripping yourself for not doing any work, has surpassed. By this time last year, I was in full revision mode (binge watching a new TV series a day). Easter used to be the time to fully buckle down and laminate those revision cards for when you started crying (again).  However, skip ahead to paying £9,000 a year and I’m getting no guidance, no revision material and no human help. I’ve been abandoned by all proper adults and I still don’t even know what my exams are on…

There we have it. That is everything I’ve learnt in my second term of uni. Hopefully with this new found knowledge, I can inspire you, my reader, to not be as idiotic as I was this term. No, I did not miss 25 lectures or spend £125 on Starbucks (not accounting for the carrot cake or those chocolate brownies [TRY THEM AND THANK ME LATER]. Hopefully we can survive to the end of first year and let’s just hope that our mistakes, like our grades, don’t count next year.