Everything I’ve learnt in my first term at university

Snapchat is a shrine to my bad decisions, but hey, you live and learn


As we arrive back from the Christmas break and settle into the dreaded exam period, an opportunity presents itself to reflect upon the term that has been, and prepare ourselves for the one that is to come.

Whether its coming to terms with the embarrassing mishaps you made on a night out, or a moment of silence for the friends you never spoke to after the first day in halls, much can be learnt with a bit of reflection.

Here’s what I learnt in my first term at Nottingham…

Glitter is for ALL occasions. It is a lifestyle.

One thing I’ve learnt this term is that glitter is for life, not just for Christmas. Well that’s at least my life motto at university.

Not hitting the 2:1s? Hit up the glitter – show your lecturer the star you really are. Run out of highlighter? Nothing says Kim K cheekbones like some bedazzling. Sick of your cleaner? Spritz some glitz to that floor to teach them a lesson. Worried you’ll lose your friends on a night out? Glitter is the answer: they can’t lose you if you look like a fucking unicorn.

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Alternatively, if you do not have any glitter, you can opt for a glittery dress, it’s perfect for all occasions.

Purchasing six pots of glitter in freshers week was literally the best decision I have made all term. At least people now know I’m a basic glitter girl.

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If you look closely, you can see there’s a face under the glitter.

Forget the question, Domino’s is always the answer.

It’s 3am after a night out, you’re drunk and starving, but you can’t face the trek to McDonalds when there is a cab right there to take you home, and your friends are currently napping on the pavement. So what do you do? Domino’s of course. It’ll arrive at your room just as you stumble out of the cab, a warm, glowing ray of heaven.

With 24 hour Domino’s delivery service, there really is no excuse.

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Waiting for Domino’s like…

 

There should be a national day of celebration for whoever invented Two for Tuesdays. Without that individual, my bank account would be much happier, but my life would be much more miserable. If in Doubt, do Domino’s.

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There is absolutely no excuse for not going out.

“I’m not coming out tonight, I’ve got a *lecture/exam/revision/seminar/my parents coming etc. etc. tomorrow”. This kind of negativity is something you do not need in your life.  Therefore, you being the nice, supportive friend you are, gently bully your mates until they give in, get dressed, slap some glitter on (if they don’t, you really ought to question who you’re friends with) and go out.

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Amen

You own at least 3 pairs of pyjamas and you’re proud.

Pyjama days are the norm at uni. About 3 weeks into term and people no longer care. They’re hungry, tired and probably still drunk from the night before-as if they’re about to put clean clothes on and brush their hair.

This isn’t Oxbridge mate.

Inevitably, you’re gonna roll out of bed, rush down to breakfast in your Pyjamas, throw on a hoodie and leg it to your lecture, because you’re paying for that boring ass PowerPoint and the lecturer to read off it . Might as well get your money’s worth, regardless of whether you got 15 minutes sleep or not.

The only time 7:00 it is acceptable to leave your room in your pyjamas!

The only time when it is really acceptable to leave your room in pyjamas

Pyjamas are a religion. Most days I will come back to my room after a hard day of doing nothing (because let’s be honest, I’m a humanities student). We will go to dinner and there we have it, somebody STILL in their pyjamas and dressing gowns at 6pm. Skinny Jeans are so last year anyway…

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Deadlines are a mind over matter type of thing.

You’ve been aware that that long ass essay is due in two days, since freshers week. Stupid Tim finished it 3 weeks ago, of course, but you’re yet to find out the title of the essay. The only option is to lock yourself in your room with a truckload of coffee, chocolate and your domino’s order ready and waiting on your phone, because who needs to diet, do that after you graduate.

All nighters are an experience all university students ought to have, organisation is for weak.

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The only thing more mythical than your chance of a first is a sober 9am.

After a long 90 minutes of sleep, going to your lecture still drunk is a perfectly socially accepted thing to do. In reality, you’ll be the most envied person, because at least you won’t be aware of what the lecturer is droning on about.

If you go to dinner still drunk from the night before then you my friend, are a legend.

If you look closely, you will see the pain in my eyes because I had a 9am on my birthday. Also, you will see glitter (OBVIOUSLY)

People change – being hardcore at university is not optional.

On arrival at University, I met the girl I share my bathroom with. We exchanged pleasantries and she promised me that she preferred long walks on the beach and cosy nights in with hot coco, over hard core partying and downing litres of Vodka. I was heavily relieved, that meant no cleaning up after her night outs for me…

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It’s cool, we are crazy together

Oh how things have changed. Not a day goes by that she makes a bad decision and promises me (whilst laughing) that she is “Not usually like this”. Oh, I’ve heard that before!

Girl, you’ve been saying this all term, just accept the new you. It’s like your New Years Resolution has come early, be thankful. New Uni, New You.

People change, they come to appreciate new music, a range of beverages and a new standard of health. Change is necessarily even if that change is Freshers 15.

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Hopefully with all my new found wisdom (which is not related to my degree on any level), I’ll be able to survive second semester.